


Blue Moon

by stopmysinfulhand



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha!Bucky, Birth, F/M, Gross transformations, Hospitals, Nurse!Reader, Past Carol Danvers/Reader, Pregnancy, Reader has intimacy issues, Slow Burn, Werewolf AU, Werewolves, bisexual reader, no powers au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:40:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 32,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27154639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stopmysinfulhand/pseuds/stopmysinfulhand
Summary: Blue MoonYou saw me standing aloneWithout a dream in my heartWithout a love of my ownBeing a new werewolf is hard enough as it is. Being a new werewolf without a pack? Damn near impossible, and dangerous to boot; but when James Barnes enters your life, you discover maybe you don't have to be alone.
Relationships: Carol Danvers & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 123
Kudos: 195





	1. Chapter 1

All you wanted was groceries. As you stepped into the brightly lit supermarket, so bright it made you squint in comparison to the night outside, you kept the thought in your mind. You grabbed a hand basket. Just a few groceries. That was it. You went down the first aisle you saw. Groceries, groceries, groceries. You could do this. Anxiety curled in your belly. Sure, there were only a few nights until the full moon, and sure, you could already feel the itch of the change beneath your skin, waiting to tear your skin to bits, but that didn’t mean you had to be weird. It was fine. You were fine! 

You turned down another aisle. Shelves full of pasta stared down at you as you absentmindedly added several boxes of macaroni and cheese to your basket. Your eyes flicked from side to side, but you hardly absorbed your surroundings. Going to the supermarket at night had been a bad idea, but it wasn't like you had any other choice. Work had been accepting of your sudden need to take three days off every month, but not enough to give you time to shop during the day.

You were so caught up in your thoughts, you ran directly into someone as you turned down the soup aisle. You dropped your basket and nearly sprawled out on the floor. You rubbed your face and looked up, apologies on the tip of your tongue. However, your thoughts deserted you as soon as you caught a look of who you had bumped into. 

He was tall. He had shoulder length brown hair tucked under a baseball cap and was dressed in layers, despite the fact it was nearly 90 degrees outside. Piercing blue eyes looked down at you with confusion, and then something like recognition. He smelled familiar. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“What?”

He reached to pick up your basket, holding it out for you to take. His hands were gloved. “Are you okay?” he repeated. “I’m sorry for bumping into you.”

Your brain started to work again and you took the basket. Your legs began to quake and you shifted, trying not to fall again. “It was my fault,” you said. You scanned him again, trying to place him. You swore you knew him. “Have I seen you before?”

“No,” he said, flashing you a slight smile. “I think I’d remember.”

A blush crept onto your cheeks. Was he… flirting with you? “Right, um. Well, sorry,” you said awkwardly, skirting around him. “About everything.” You absconded from the scene, not stopping until you were in the frozen foods section, which was thankfully empty. You put your back against one of the freezers and slid to the ground, trying to collect yourself. Who was that guy? Why had he looked at you like that?

You ran your hands through your hair and shut your eyes. You tensed as you heard footsteps make their way down your aisle. You hoped they would pass quickly. People tended to leave you alone for the most part, so you weren’t super worried about it. 

You opened your eyes to see a pair of work boots stationed in front of you. Your eyes trailed up blue jeans to see their owner, the guy who had bumped into you. 

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked. Before you had time to answer, he squatted so you and he were eye level. 

You backed up as much as you could, your back ramrod straight against the freezer. “If this is about bumping into you, I’m really sorry,” you said nervously. “I swear I didn’t mean to.”

The guy took off his hat and ruffled his hair. It fell neatly against his cheeks, framing his face in an appealing way. A pang pierced your chest as you realized he was kinda handsome. 

He smiled at you. 

Okay, scratch that, really handsome.

“No harm done,” he said, putting his hands up in a sort of casual surrender. He dropped his hands again and looked behind himself before easing down to the ground. He put his back against the freezer across from you. “I wanted to ask you what you meant about seeing me before.”

You relaxed slightly now that he was out of your immediate space. “You look familiar—” You stopped short. “Er, no, that’s not what I mean. I know I’ve never seen you before, but I feel like I’ve met you before.” 

The guy nodded, but didn’t say anything. In fact, he seemed almost troubled, despite his nonchalant posture. His leg was propped up, the other splayed before him, with his arm resting on the propped one. 

You scratched at your forearm, and his eyes focused on the spot before looking up at you. “What?” you asked, feeling self conscious. You pulled your arm closer to your stomach. 

“Do you scratch your arm often?” he asked.

“None of your business,” you said defensively. 

He nodded. “Sorry for prying,” he said. “It’s just that, I get itchy around this time of the month, too.”

You felt like you’d been dunked in ice water. Your breath caught in your chest. “What?” you choked out. 

“Around a full moon,” he ventured, clearly testing the waters.

You shot to your feet and swept up your basket. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you replied automatically. He stood and said something, but you had stood up so fast that all the blood rushed from your head and your hearing went. Just before your vision left, you saw his very concerned expression. 

When you came back, you were laying on the supermarket floor. Your eyes fluttered open, and the guy started to talk very quickly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to hit your head when you fell, so I caught you and—“

You groaned and rolled onto your side, shutting your eyes tightly. “You couldn’t just leave it, could you?” you murmured.

The guy let out a huff of a laugh. “You started it,” he countered with obvious relief in his voice. 

“So what?” you asked. You cracked open an eye to glare at him. “Just cause I started it doesn’t mean you had to continue.”

“You feel a connection.”

“I don’t know what I feel.” You sat up, pushing yourself up onto your elbow and then your palm. His hand hovered beside you, ready to catch you if you fainted again, but he didn’t touch you. You were thankful for that. Under his watchful eye, you got slowly to your feet, careful not to faint again. “I don’t even know your name,” you groaned. 

He opened his mouth to answer, but you held up a hand, cutting him off. “I don’t want to know,” you said. 

“I can help you,” he said insistently. 

“I don’t want your help. I want to get the rest of my groceries, like I came here to do, and then I want to go home and forget this ever happened.” You picked up your basket for the third time and stared at him. “Thanks, but no thanks.”

He seemed genuinely distraught. “But—“

“Goodnight.” You turned and hurried down the aisle, looking back just before you turned. The guy was staring forlornly at the floor, but he let you go without further argument. 

The rest of your shopping trip went without incident. You gathered the rest of the groceries on your list and checked out. The cashier was blissfully silent, leaving you plenty of space to overthink. You walked to your car, tossed your bags in the trunk, slid into the driver’s side and shut the door. Then, you let out a yell of frustration and hit your steering wheel multiple times, letting out your anxieties. You didn’t want to meet some mysterious stranger at the supermarket who implied he was like you. You didn’t want to be like him. Most of all, you didn’t want to be a fucking werewolf. 

And yet. There you were. Aching for the transformation, and all the while fearing it. You didn’t want this to be your life, but it was. Nothing you could do about it now, except try to keep going. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As Halloween is fast approaching, and I've had this fic in progress for quite some time, I figured now is the perfect time to post! I plan on posting a new chapter every day until Halloween (planning being the key word here,,,) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

Your alarm clock blared, waking you up in time for work. Supposedly. What actually happened was you hit the snooze button three times and rolled over, going back to sleep. Then you realized you slept through your alarm and shot out of bed, tripping over yourself multiple times as you attempted to strip out of your pajamas on the way to the bathroom. You hurriedly used the bathroom, washed your face, and brushed your teeth. You didn’t bother with your hair, besides pulling it back to the best of your ability. You grabbed your scrubs from your closet on your way to the kitchen, sliding them on as you walked. You checked the clock. Still time to make coffee. You set the machine to brew and gathered the belongings you’d need for the day. The sight of your kitchen table loaded with the grocery bags from last night made you groan. You had been so frazzled, you’d forgotten to put them away, choosing instead to go right to bed. At least you hadn’t bought anything frozen. While your coffee brewed, you put away the groceries, stuffing the empty plastic bags into the pantry. What were you supposed to do with those anyway?

Your coffee streamed into a travel mug. The smell alone was enough to perk you up a bit. The first sip was heaven. You savoured the taste and grabbed your bag. It was time for work. 

Traffic was manageable as you made your way to the hospital. Perks of suburban living, you guessed. You got a spot mildly near the front of the lot. Maybe today would be a good day!

The thought vanished as soon as you placed your things behind the nurses’ station on the OB floor. As you reached for the chart for your first patient of the day, you looked up to see the guy from the supermarket walking in your direction. The color drained from your face as you backed up, stumbling over an office chair. You crouched down, hoping he hadn’t noticed you. You waited a moment and popped your head up just enough to look over the desk. 

He had noticed you. He stood on the other end of the desk, looking as flabbergasted as you felt. “What are you doing here?” he asked, almost accusatory. 

“I work here,” you hissed. “What are  _ you _ doing here?”

“Visiting a friend,” he replied defensively. “She’s due today.” 

You bit your tongue, stopping yourself from asking if the child was his. It wasn’t any of your business, nor did you want to know. “Well,” you said, after taking a calming breath. “Congratulations. If you’ll please excuse me.” He was blocking the exit of the nurses’ station. 

“Pardon me,” he said, moving aside to let you through. Much to your chagrin, he followed you as you walked down the hall to your first patient’s room.

“Can I help you?” you asked him as politely as you could, not looking at him. 

“So this is what you do?” he asked in return. 

“This is what I do,” you confirmed. 

“Have you always wanted to do this?”

“Yes,” you answered, sparing him a glance. “Women’s health is very important to me.”

“Right on,” said the guy, raising his fist to about shoulder height in solidarity. 

You almost laughed. Almost. “What do you do?” you asked, more out of need to fill the silence than anything. Damn your anxiety. 

“I’m a nurse, too. I work at the VA.”

You looked at him in surprise. “Oh,” you said. “Really?”

He nodded. “Yep, my friend Sam is a therapist there, too,” he told you. He was so inclined to tell you things about himself, it was almost sweet. 

“That’s nice.” You stopped in front of your patient’s room. “Now, please, I have work to do.” You shooed him lightly with your hand and knocked on the door before entering. As you went in, you read off the chart. “Hello, Mrs. Barton, my name is (Y/N) (L/N) and I’ll be your nurse for today.” You smiled at the pregnant woman in the bed and went over to write your name on the white board next to her bed. 

“Hello, (Y/N),” said Mrs. Barton pleasantly. “This is my husband, Clint.” 

Clint waved from his chair next to her bed. Then, he looked towards the door and grinned widely. “Bucky, you’re still here,” he said, addressing the guy from the supermarket. 

You whipped around to look at the guy, Bucky, you supposed. “Wha—?”

“My friends,” he said, gesturing to the Bartons. 

“Do you know Bucky, (Y/N)?” Mrs. Barton asked from the bed. 

“Not well, Mrs. Barton,” you sighed. “We only met yesterday.”

“If you could call it a meeting,” Bucky said jovially. He crossed over to the bed and smiled down at Mrs. Barton. “Still doing alright, Laura?”

The pregnant woman playfully pushed Bucky away with a laugh. “It’s only been a couple minutes since you left, but yes, thank you,” she said. 

Bucky turned to you with a big smile. He jutted his thumb towards the door. “I’ll go wait outside,” he told you.

“You don’t—” He left before you had time to finish your sentence, bading goodbye once again to the Bartons. You sighed heavily and took a moment to collect yourself before you turned back to the Bartons. “Is there anything I can do for you right now, Mrs. Barton? How are you feeling?”

“I feel good,” she told you with a smile. “And please, call me Laura.” 

“Laura,” you repeated, smiling back at her. “Let’s take your blood pressure, alright?”

You took Laura’s blood pressure and checked the monitor she was hooked up to. You helped her out of bed so she could use the bathroom and walked her around the room a little to get her blood flowing. On closer inspection, you could see she was extremely pregnant. Her belly was so large, you were surprised she didn’t tip over. As you helped her back into bed, you noticed the way Clint stared at her, like he was in constant awe of her. 

You checked your watch as you got ready to leave. “Any pain, Laura?” you asked. 

“No, sweetie, I’m fine,” she said and placed a hand on her stomach. “This isn’t my first rodeo.” 

You grinned. “Alright, well, let me know if you need anything, okay?” Once you got her affirmative, you left the room, a big smile still on your face.

“She has that effect on people,” Bucky remarked. He had his back against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, and he stood up straight as you entered the hall, his arms falling to his sides. 

“Why are you still here?” you asked. You had no reason to be so rude to him, but he was kinda getting on your nerves. 

“Waiting on you, doll,” he replied with a charming smile.

You rolled your eyes and made your way down the hall with Bucky in your wake. “Whatever you say, Bucky.” You drawled his name. “What kind of name is Bucky anyway?” You stopped in front of the nurses’ station, nodding in greeting to one of the other nurses there. You swapped out the chart and turned to find Bucky right behind you. 

“It’s a nickname,” he said. “Derived from my middle name.” 

“Hm.” 

“What kind of name is (Y/N)?”

“My name,” you said simply. “I’ve really got to go back to work.”

“Can I see you again?” he asked. 

You hesitated. You already knew he was like you. Regardless, you didn’t like how much of an interest he was taking in you, no matter how cute he was. “I’d rather you didn’t,” you said after another moment of hesitation.

Bucky let out a frustrated sigh. “Look, at least take my number.” He handed you a piece of paper, where his name and number were written in neat capital letters. “In case you need it.”

Despite your better judgement, you took the paper. “I don’t plan on needing it,” you told him. 

“That’s why I said in case.” He gave you a crooked smile. “If you don’t need it, you don’t need it. But if you do, you won’t regret taking it.”

You hummed an acknowledgement and shoved the paper in your pocket. “Right. Thanks, I guess.” You glanced over his shoulder to see a patient hobbling out of her room. “I’ve really got to go now,” you told him, already moving around him. You felt his glove brush against your arm and you stopped. “What?”

“I’ll be there if you need me,” he said, quite earnestly. 

“Okay,” you said awkwardly, not sure what else to say. 

Bucky nodded and turned away from you, walking down the hallway towards the elevators. 

“He seemed nice,” said Hellen, the nurse behind the desk. 

“Mm,” you replied, staring after him. Then, you realized there was still an unattended patient in the hall and hurried to see if she needed anything. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really glad y'all like this! I love being able to share it with you <3


	3. Chapter 3

Your phone, which was placed in a cup holder on your center console of your car, began to vibrate as you sat idle at a stoplight on your way home. You sighed through your nose and spared a glance. It was Carol. You exhaled fully through your mouth and picked up the phone, answering the call. You set it to speaker phone. “Hello?” you ventured.

“Hello, dearest,” Carol chirped in reply. “You busy?”

“I’m on my way home from work.”

“Perfect,” she said. “‘Cause I’m waiting out front of your apartment.”

“Carol,” you groaned. “You’ve got to give me some warning. What if I was late?”

“You’re never late,” she said matter-of-factly, “But if you were, I suppose I’d be stuck baking on your front porch until you got back.”

“Or you could go home and not bother me,” you said sweetly. The stoplight changed to green and you put your foot on the gas, now in considerably more of a hurry than you had been before. 

Carol ignored your suggestion. “Have a good day at work?”

“It was weird,” you admitted. “I’ll tell you about it when I get home.”

“Yay!”

You shook your head and smiled. “I have to drive now,” you said.

“‘Kay, love you, bye,” Carol said, giving you just enough time to say goodbye in return before she hung up the phone. 

You shook your head again, unable to keep the grin from your face. Carol was your best friend. The two of you had even dated for a brief time. That was right before you’d been bitten. The smile slipped from your face as you remembered the night. A shudder ran through you. You forcibly blocked the memory. You had decided to break up with Carol after that, not comfortable with the idea of trying to have a girlfriend at the same time you tried to navigate your new life as a werewolf. Thankfully, Carol was very understanding, even if she didn’t know the real reason behind the break up. You were also immensely thankful your fling hadn’t spoiled your friendship. Carol was still Carol, and she was there no matter your relationship status. 

You pulled into your parking spot and hurried up to your apartment, only to find Carol seated on the doormat with her back to your door. “You know,” she said as you walked up. “I don’t know why you haven’t given me a key yet. We’d be able to avoid this whole problem if I had a key.”

You shook your head and unlocked the door. “If I gave you a key, you’d never leave,” you told her, only half joking. “Goose would never forgive me if I took away his owner like that.”

Carol stepped inside after you and flopped onto your couch. “I’d have to bring him with me, obviously.”

“You know this place has no pets allowed.” You got two water bottles from the fridge and handed her one before you sat next to her, flipping on the TV. You scanned the channel guide until you settled on some movie channel. It was mostly for background noise anyway. 

Carol hummed her agreement and sat up, cracking open the water bottle. You watched as she practically drained half of it in one gulp.

“You’re so powerful,” you marveled.

Carol grinned. “You know it, babe.” She sprawled out once again and gestured towards you. “Tell me about your weird day.”

You hesitated. “It actually started last night,” you said, your eyes straying to the TV. When you looked back, Carol was sitting up straight and alert. “I went grocery shopping last night.”

She gave you a puzzled smile. “And that was weird?” she asked.

You laughed. “No, not exactly, but while I was at the supermarket, I bumped into this guy and then I saw him at work today…”

Carol gasped and sat forward. “Was he somebody’s baby daddy?”

“No,” you said, waving away her question. “No no. He was visiting some friends.”

“Still waiting on the weird part,” Carol chimed.

“Well…” You almost didn’t want to tell her. Not because you’d thought she’d make it weird, but because you weren’t sure how to explain why Bucky did what he did. “He gave me his number.”

She gasped dramatically, her hands flying up to hover over her mouth. “Oh no. A guy gave you his number? What has the world come to?”

You laughed and shoved her shoulder playfully. “That’s what I’m saying,” you agreed. “Like, the audacity of this guy.”

Carol laughed with you. “He probably thought you were cute,” she said teasingly. “I don’t think that’s weird at all.”

You hummed in acknowledgement. “I dunno, it just… I don’t know how to explain it.” You threw your hands up in frustration and collapsed back onto the couch, pulling a pillow over your face. 

Carol carefully extracted the pillow from your face and tossed it aside. She leaned over you, propping her head up on her palm with her elbow digging into the cushion beside your head. “Are you gonna text him?” she asked. “Or better yet, call him?”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” you said dryly.

“I hope not for my sake,” she said. 

You rolled your eyes. “Yes, because I know how you pine for me,” you said while batting your eyelashes up at her. 

“Only every day of my life,” she said jokingly. Carol picked up the pillow you had previously covered your face with, and hit you with it. “Seriously though, that’s not why, right?”

“No, that’s not why,” you said, catching the pillow. 

“Is he cute?”

“Yes,” you replied without thinking.

“Major?”

This time you did think about it. “Yeah,” you said with a laugh. “Major.”

“Then what’s the prob, dawg?” Carol said, tugging the pillow from your grasp, only to hit you with it again. 

“I don’t know,” you groaned. You rolled away from her and sat up, dragging your hands down your face. “I don’t know! He seems nice. I just— I don’t like what it means for me.”

“What does it mean for you?” Carol settled in your previous spot, essentially curling around you. 

“It means…” You trailed off, staring at the television. What did it mean for you, really? What did Bucky represent that you were so afraid of?

“Exactly,” said Carol. “You get all in your head. Gotta learn to let loose a little, kid.” She reached in your pocket and fished out the piece of paper that had Bucky’s number on it. “I know you so well.” She examined the paper and looked up at you with puppy dog eyes. “Aw, he wrote his name on it and everything.” 

“Gimme that!” You moved to snatch the paper away from her, but she was already on her feet and dancing towards your bag, which still held your phone. “Carol,” you pleaded, “Please don’t.”

“You know I have to,” she said, already typing in his number. “I’m calling him right now.”

“Carol!”

She put the phone to her ear and gave you a thumbs up. Through the speaker, you could hear Bucky’s voice, though it was muffled and tinny. “Hi! Is this…” Carol paused to read off the paper. “Bucky?” He must have given her an affirmative, because she continued on. “Hi Bucky, my name is Carol. I’m calling on behalf of—”

You snatched the phone from her hand before she could finish the sentence. “Sorry, Bucky, I told her not to,” you said hurriedly.

Bucky’s laugh warmed you inside out. “Is this (Y/N)?” he asked. 

“Yes,” you said, internally face palming yourself at least a thousand times. “Again, I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I’m glad you called.”

“Technically, I didn’t,” you corrected, then realized that was probably rude. You looked at Carol in a panic. She gave you another thumbs up. “But,” you said hurriedly, “I am too, I guess.”

“Have you given any more thought to my question?”

You turned away from Carol and crossed your arm over your chest, unconsciously trying to comfort yourself. “No,” you said honestly. Too honestly. “I don’t know. Yes?” You took a deep breath. “Look, Bucky, you seem really nice and all, but I just don’t know—” You spared a glance at Carol and looked away again. “I can’t face it yet,” you murmured. 

There was a pause on the other end of the line. You heard a crackle, as if he shifted the phone. “Well, you only have about a day and a half before you have to face it,” he said nonchalantly. “Can’t avoid the full moon.” 

You let out a frustrated sigh. “Whatever,” you said, trying to keep the irritation from your voice. “I’ll call you back.” You hung up before he had a chance to say goodbye. 

“What can’t you face?” Carol asked.

“None of your beeswax,” you replied, tossing your phone back into your bag. You yawned loudly and stretched out your arms in an exaggerated fashion. “Listen, Carol, can we call it a night? I’m beat. Work was hard today and I need to catch up on my sleep anyway.” Ha. That was a joke. With the full moon so close, there was no way you were going to sleep anytime before 2 am. 

Carol narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but didn’t push you. “Alright,” she said. “You’ll tell me when you’re ready.” 

Yeah, right. 

“Make sure you actually get some sleep, okay?” she pleaded, gripping you by the shoulders.

You nodded solemnly. “I’ll do my best,” you said. 

Carol pulled you into a hug, and you gladly reciprocated. You weren’t really a hug person, but Carol was the exception. “You better. Otherwise I won’t leave until you have some semblance of a sleep schedule,” she threatened. “You can’t live on coffee alone.”

You stuck your tongue out at her when she pulled away. “I can try,” you jokingly replied. “Now, please, get out of my house.”

“Hm.” Carol gave you one last embrace before she went to the door. She was about to close it behind her when she looked back and made a motion with her fingers to let you know she was watching you. 

Once she was gone, you locked the door and leaned against it with a sigh. You loved Carol, but Jesus, she could really take the energy out of you sometimes. You let your hair down and ran your hand through it, going to the kitchen to fix yourself a bowl of cereal. You heard your phone buzz in your bag. Stuffing a spoonful of froot loops into your mouth, you fished your phone out of the bag to see you received a text. After staring at the number for way too long, you determined it was Bucky. 

The text read: ‘Your friend seems nice. Laura’s in labor.’

You jolted. That wasn’t very surprising to you; Laura had begun having serious contractions just before you were about to clock out. The surprising part was that Bucky had texted you to let you know. He could have mentioned it over the phone. You made a face. Stupid, you hadn’t given him a chance to say much of anything.

You shoved another spoonful of cereal into your mouth. It was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's carol!! she's so much fun, i love her


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for: child birth

You were on fire, and yet you were freezing. Placing your hand against your forehead, you regarded yourself in your bathroom mirror. If you were being honest, you’d looked better. The bags under your eyes had darkened. Your hair was a mess, even compared to its recent state. You ran your hand through it experimentally. “Oof,” you said, out loud, to yourself. Okay. Well, you were expecting something like this, right? You certainly didn’t expect yourself to be glowing. The full moon was tomorrow. You were allowed to look shitty. As you left your bedroom, your phone buzzed on your nightstand. You picked it up to see who was calling; it was Bucky. You sighed and answered the call. “Yes?”

“How you holding up?” he asked. His voice sounded far away, like he may have been talking to you through speaker phone. 

You rubbed your face, groaning in mild annoyance. “Not well,” you admitted.

“This isn’t your first time, is it?”

“No, but I’ve only done it once before, and I guess I like blacked out or something, because I don’t remember that entire weekend,” you told him. “Is that common?”

“Totally,” said Bucky. “What, did you wake up naked in the woods?”

“Something like that. I ended up in the ditch outside my apartment.”

Bucky whistled. “At least you were close to home,” he said, with something close to admiration. “My first time, I ended up in upstate New York.” 

“From where?” you choked out. 

“New York City,” he said with a laugh. “Not too far, but very far when you’re naked.”

You had to laugh as well. “I can’t imagine,” you said. “What’d you do?”

“I found a box near the side of the highway and covered myself with that, then I found the nearest gas station and called my friend Steve to come pick me up,” he told you. You could hear the smile in his voice. “He really chewed me out after that.”

You tried to imagine how Carol would react to you in a situation like that, and found it impossible. “Wow.”

“Yeah,” he said. There was a beat of silence. “Are you going to work today?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I’ll see you there. I wanna be there for Laura when she has the baby. I’m actually on my way to the hospital right now,” he said. “I’m calling you through my car!” Bucky sounded very excited about that.

You laughed again. Jeez, two laughs in one conversation? That hardly ever happened with anyone who wasn’t Carol. “You can do anything with technology these days,” you said dryly. 

“Absolutely. So, I’ll see you later?"

“I guess you will.” You sat on the edge of your bed and laid back, sighing.

“Good,” he said. “Alright, well, bye then.”

“Bye, Bucky,” you replied. You took your phone away from your ear and ended the call, letting your phone fall against your chest. Then, you hit both of your fists against your mattress and kicked your legs, throwing a mini tantrum just for yourself while crying out in frustration. Goddamnit, you were starting to like him. You didn’t want to like him! You didn’t want anything to do with him! 

After a few minutes of sulking, you dragged yourself from the bed and got ready for work. 

The drive to the hospital was quick, mostly attributed to the fact that you were distracted by your thoughts. You walked to the nurses’ station on the OB floor in a haze. Bucky was already waiting for you there, chatting with the other nurse on duty, Hellen. When he noticed you approaching, he waved and smiled at you before returning to his conversation with Hellen. You dropped your bag behind the desk and turned to Hellen. “How’s Mrs. Barton?” you asked. 

“Just about ready to burst,” she answered. “She’s dilated 8 centimeters. Baby’s heart rate is pretty consistent at 128 bpm.” 

You exhaled. That was good. “Has the doctor seen her?”

“Yep,” Hellen said, popping the ‘p’. “Shouldn’t be too long now.”

“She’s probably waiting on you,” Bucky volunteered. If he was upset you hadn’t acknowledged him yet, he didn’t show it. 

You startled slightly. “The doctor?” you asked in confusion.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “No,” he said. “Laura.” His tone implied the ‘duh’. 

“Why—?” You shook your head. “Nevermind. I guess I’ll get in there.” You gave Hellen a quick smile and moved around the front of the desk, Bucky hot on your heels as you approached the Bartons’ delivery room. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” you asked him. 

“Nope,” he said with a smile. “Gotta look out for Laura and Clint.”

You stopped short right before you reached their room. “Wait. They’re not…?” 

“Not what?” He was going to make you say it.

You groaned. “Like us?” you asked in a hushed voice, gesturing between yourself and him. 

“Oh yeah,” he confirmed. “Wicked.”

Your eyes widened. “Really?” you asked in hushed tones. “Does that mean the baby—?”

“—Will be a werewolf, too?” he finished. “Yeah, usually. Dunno, sometimes it doesn’t happen. Genetics and all that. Punnett squares.”

You scoffed. He was making fun of you, you were sure of it. You turned to face him fully and pressed your pointer finger to his chest. “Listen, just because you’re older than me, or more experienced than me doesn’t mean—”

The door to the delivery room opened, and it was Clint. He looked between you and Bucky, his smile growing into a grin. “Howdy, Buckaroo. (Y/N), nice to see you again. Everything okay here?” he asked. 

From inside the room, you could hear Laura call out, “Is that (Y/N)?”

You hastily separated yourself from Bucky, your fever enhanced by the blush that stained your cheeks. “Everything’s fine,” you said hastily. “Excuse me.” You stepped around Clint, heading to the bed Laura was in. Her legs were already propped up to prepare her for the birthing process. “Hi, Laura, doing alright?”

“Just peachy,” she said before she uttered a pained groan, tilting her head back against the pillows. “It’s good to see you again.”

“It’s good to see you, too, ma’am.” You picked up the water cup from the side table and offered it to her. “How about you drink a little something?”

Laura took a couple of sips, per your request, and Clint came back into the room, followed by Bucky. You side-eyed him, but stayed focused on Laura. 

You guessed Bucky may have been right, because it was only about 15 minutes after you got there that Laura could start pushing. With one hand she gripped Clint’s arm and gripped yours with the other. Bucky stood nearby, careful not to disturb anything. You helped guide Laura’s breathing and told her when to push, and before you knew it, she had popped out a healthy little boy. You moved to help the doctor, and after Clint cut the umbilical cord, you offered Laura her newly born baby. Despite the fact that you’d been a nurse for a couple years, it never ceased to amaze you how that little human could be produced by someone’s body. 

Bucky seemed to share your sentiments. “Holy shit,” he murmured from his spot beside you. 

“I know,” you gushed quietly in return. “Can you believe it?” 

“No,” he replied. “I honestly can’t.”

Laura looked up at the two of you with a sleepy smile. “Thank you for all your help, (Y/N),” she said. On her other side, Clint nodded his support of the statement. 

You flushed under her praise. “You did all the work, ma’am. I’m just here for support,” you said, looking down at the ground. “But, thank you.” You looked at her again and smiled. “I’ll go see about getting supplies for his bath later.” 

Bucky followed you as you left the room. “Do you ever think about doing something like that?” he asked.

You scrunched up your nose. “Kind of personal, isn’t it?” you said, deflecting the question.

“Maybe,” he said. “Well?”

You sighed. It wasn’t until you were rummaging in the supply closet that you answered. “Maybe. I don’t know. Probably not now that I’m— Well. You know. But… I guess I’m not. Completely against the idea of being a mother.”

“Me neither,” he said, nodding. At your weird look, he flushed. “About becoming a dad, I mean,” he rushed out. “Not you being a mom. I don’t— That’s none of my business.”

You snorted and shook your head, carrying the bath supplies back to the Bartons’ room. You set the supplies in the bathroom and took a deep breath, looking at your reflection in the mirror. You looked better than you had that morning. You took that as a good sign. 

You went back into the room, and your heart swelled at the soft cooing that was coming from the Bartons’ son. He was so precious. “Have you decided on a name?” you asked as you moved back to Laura’s side. 

“Nathaniel,” she answered with a smile. 

“I think that’s a wonderful name,” you said earnestly. You looked at the clock on the wall and then at your watch. “Would you like to try breastfeeding?”

“Well, I think that’s my cue to leave,” Bucky piped up. He and Clint shook hands, and then he pressed a kiss to the top of Laura’s head. “He’s beautiful, Laura.”

“Thank you, Bucky,” she said with a smile. “Thanks for coming.”

Bucky smiled and took another look at Nathaniel, nodding to himself. “You’re welcome. Glad to have been here. I’ll visit you guys later to check up, okay?” Once they had agreed, he turned to you. “Wanna get lunch?” 

You looked at the clock again. It was only 9 o’clock. You told him so. 

“Breakfast, then,” he corrected.

You sighed. “Let me get Laura situated, and then, sure. We can get breakfast.”

Bucky grinned. “I’ll wait outside,” he said, then left while waving goodbye to his friends.

“I’ve never seen him act like this before,” Clint said with amusement. 

Laura hummed in agreement, though her gaze was fixated on her new son. You didn’t blame her. You were a little fixated on him as well. His little fist uncurled and curled again as he tested out his limbs. 

“He’s so beautiful, Laura,” you told her. 

“Isn’t he?” she said, stroking his head. 

You gestured to the snaps on her hospital gown. “Let’s try to get him to latch, okay?” You helped her unsnap them, and she pulled out her breast. As a practiced mother, she knew just the position to hold Nathaniel in to get him to latch on. You hardly had to help at all. Once you were satisfied he was drinking properly, you patted Laura’s shoulder and left the room. 

Bucky was right outside, his back against the wall exactly as he was the day before. “She doing okay?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

You smiled, touched by how much he genuinely cared for his friend. “She’s doing amazingly,” you told him. “You don’t need to be worried.”

“Good,” he said. “That makes me feel better.” 

You started walking towards the cafeteria. “I know the Bartons are your friends, but you seem weirdly devoted to them,” you said. “I’ve never seen a non-relative so present at a birth.” 

Bucky sighed. “It’s my responsibility,” he said simply. “They’re my responsibility. I want to ensure their safety, especially regarding something like that.”

“Your responsibility,” you repeated. “What does that mean?”

“It means I’m the leader of the pack.”

You stopped walking. 

Bucky walked a few steps ahead and then turned to face you. “What is it?” he asked.

“You’re the Alpha?” you asked in quiet awe.

Bucky shifted uncomfortably. “If you want to call it that, sure. I’m not big on titles,” he said. 

You stared at him for another minute, sizing him up. You certainly would not have guessed he would be the leader of a pack. He struck you as more of a lone wolf type. “Wow.”

“What?”

You shook your head and kept walking. “Is that why you were so insistent on talking with me?” you asked. “You want me to join your pack.” 

“I never said that,” he said with a frown. “However, should you decide to…”

You scoffed and walked a little faster. Once you got to the elevator, you pressed the down button several times, hoping it would get to your floor faster. “Just when I was starting to like you,” you groaned. 

“You like me?” he asked, a tinge of hope in his voice. 

The elevator arrived with a ding. “Not anymore.” You stepped into the elevator, reaching for the close door button, but Bucky joined you before you could shut them on him. The ride down to the first floor was relatively silent. Bucky stood with his arms clasped behind his back while you had yours crossed over your chest. Occasionally you would glance at him from the corner of your eye, but you avoided looking at him head on. 

“Would it really be that bad?” he asked just as the doors slid open.

You didn’t answer, instead paving the way to the cafeteria. 

Bucky sighed audibly as he caught up to you. “I think you’re making this a bigger deal than it needs to be,” he said.

“I don’t think you’re making it a big enough deal,” you hissed back. “That’s a big commitment.”

“It’s really not,” Bucky tried to reason. “I mean… Okay, it kind of is, but it doesn’t have to be!”

You stopped short and regarded him carefully, looking him up and down. “What do you mean?” you asked after you let a beat of silence pass.

“What if we did a trial run? The full moon’s tomorrow, and you’ve got no plans, so—“

You held up a hand to stop him. “Who said I had no plans?” You didn’t, but you didn’t like him assuming things. 

Bucky raised his eyebrows. “Do you?” At your silence, he continued. “Exactly. Listen, it’ll be easy. You can come up to the lodge, we’ll get you situated, you can meet the rest of the pack—“ He wiped his hands together in a brushing off motion. “The moon comes, we transform, yadda yadda, you go home after the moon wanes. No commitment necessary.” He pointed at you. “Unless you decide you want to.” 

You chewed on your bottom lip as you tried to process his plan. “You have a lodge?” you ventured. 

Bucky smiled. “Is that a yes?”

“I’ll let you know after breakfast.” You nodded towards the cafeteria entrance. “C’mon. All this thinking has made me hungry.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my favorite parts about writing AUs is establishing rules, I think it's so fun, especially when I get to have characters figure the, out. I hope you like it! Thanks for reading!!


	5. Chapter 5

You opened your eyes to light streaming in through your blinds. Turning onto your back you gave a big stretch, groaning as various joints cracked and your thighs shook with the strain of the stretch. You relaxed again and took a deep breath. In your mind, you conjured an image of a black screen with the words “Dawn of the Final Day”. You glanced at your calendar. Today was circled several times in red permanent marker. In a fit of sleep deprivation induced panic, you even went so far as to write full moon over it, with the words underlined in hurried strokes. As if you needed a reminder. 

You turned on your side and reached for your phone. You squinted slightly as you turned it on, scrolling through your notifications. Some were from various social medias. Many were from Carol, just checking up on you. At the top of your notifications was a text from Bucky. It was the address for the lodge he had mentioned yesterday. 

You plugged the address into your gps app and sighed. Nearly an hour and a half drive to the middle of nowhere. Were you sure this wasn’t a ploy to get you murdered?

You called Carol, and when you explained that you were going to Bucky’s place, she asked the same thing. “I mean,” she followed up, “You’ve only just met the guy.”

You grumbled and dragged your hand down your face. “I know,” you sighed. “But I gotta do it.” 

“Why?”

You fought to think of a reason that wasn’t a total lie. “I can’t stay here this weekend. Besides, aren’t you always telling me I need to get out of my apartment?” you tried weakly.

You could hear her disapproval through the phone. “I did not mean that you should go alone to some-guy-you-barely-know’s cabin for the weekend,” said Carol.

“You said I should get to know him,” you pointed out. “Besides, I won’t be the only one there. It’s like a weekend retreat thing.”

“Uh-huh,” she said, unconvinced. “So what I’m hearing is instead of getting individually murdered by a serial killer, you’re probably the cult sacrifice.”

“Carol,” you groaned. “It’s not like that.”

“Then tell me what it is like,” she pleaded. “Do you want me to go with you?”

“No,” you said hurriedly. You swallowed hard. “You can’t come.”

“Why?”

“Uhhh…” You looked at the calendar again. “You have work?” you managed. “I have the next four days off. Besides, Goose needs you, I can’t ask you to leave him alone for four days.” You could tell she was about to interject, so you continued, louder than before. “I’ll be fine, Carol. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you updated. I’ll even share my location if that makes you feel better.”

She grumbled under her breath, but you knew you’d won her over with the last promise. “Alright,” said Carol. “Are you sure you’ll be alright?”

God, you hoped so. “Yes,” you said. “Definitely.”

After you said your goodbyes to Carol, adding extra promises that you’d keep her updated, you began to pack a bag for the weekend. What would you even need? Extra clothes, probably. You paled as you realized that at some point you’d probably be naked in front of Bucky. Not a comforting thought. You tossed stuff haphazardly in the bag, adding toiletries and any medications you thought you might need. You anticipated a lot of pain over the course of the next three days. Once you were packed to your satisfaction, you picked up your phone and called Bucky. 

He answered within two rings. “Hi (Y/N).” He sounded happy you called. 

“Hi,” you said dully. “What time should I come over?”

“Whenever you want,” he said easily. “Everybody else will probably come over around 5 to eat before. Sun sets at 7 tonight.” 

You hummed in acknowledgement, trying to do math in your head. “Could I come over around 3, then?” you asked. 

“That would be great,” Bucky said earnestly. “You have directions and everything?”

“Yeah, Bucky, I got it.”

“Good.” You could practically hear his smile. 

“So I guess I’ll see you soon,” you said. 

“I guess so,” he agreed. “See ya.”

You said goodbye and hung up the phone. A warm feeling settled over your mind like a blanket, cloaking you in something akin to excitement. You smiled without meaning to, and then fixed it just as quick. You were doing this out of necessity. Nothing else. Right?

You shook your head. You needed to get ready if you were going to be there by three. You threw on an old t-shirt and a pair of well-worn jeans, finishing the ensemble with a flannel on top. You pulled on some socks and your sneakers. Once you were dressed, you regarded yourself in the mirror. It wasn’t anything fancy, but Bucky had already seen you in your work clothes. It didn’t get much more plain than that. 

You fixed yourself a bowl of cereal, cheered by the new knowledge that Bucky would ensure you were fed before the transformation. You imagined that burned quite a lot of calories. 

You dawdled for a while, alternating between scrolling through your phone and flicking through channels on your TV until you decided it was an alright time to head out. Shouldering your bag, you ensured you had your phone charger and all the things you usually carried when you went out before you gave your apartment a fond, final look over. Satisfied everything was as it should be, you left, locking the door behind you. You threw your bag in the trunk of your car and slid into the driver’s side. You took a deep breath. It was going to be alright. You turned your car on, plugged in your phone so you could play some tunes, and loaded up the directions on your GPS app. Before you embarked, you sent a text to Bucky to let him know you were on the way, and one to Carol to let her know you were leaving. Then, you took another deep breath, and pulled out of the parking lot, hitting the road towards Bucky’s lodge. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one to hype you up for the upcoming chapters hehe


	6. Chapter 6

You nearly missed the turn. You took the exit from the highway, and as you went down a paved road, you noticed a dirt road veering to the right. You dismissed it as a footpath, until your GPS told you otherwise. Hastily, you turned onto it, marveling at the height of the trees around you. You were well and truly in the forest. At least the road was smooth. Well. Smooth enough. In the back of your mind, you wondered how Bucky navigated his way home in the rain. Surely the road would be too muddy to drive on. 

Your thoughts stalled out as the trees thinned around, revealing a surprisingly large cabin. It was on stilts, with a garage resting on the ground beside it. It wasn’t too tall, easily dwarfed by the trees around it, but tall enough that you took a moment to marvel. You didn’t notice the dirt had changed to pavement until you parked. There was a rounded driveway with an offshoot that led to the garage. The other side of the driveway connected to another dirt path. The way out, you presumed. 

Bucky came down the steps of the house as you stepped out of your car. “Hey,” he greeted you jovially. “Was the drive okay?”

“The drive was fine.” You tugged your bag out of the trunk. Or, you were about to, when Bucky appeared at your side, his arms open to take the bag. You regarded him carefully before allowing him to take it. “Thanks,” you said. 

“No problem.” Bucky smiled at you. You knew werewolves were stereotyped as being doglike, but this was ridiculous. You were looking at a puppy, not a man. “What do you think?” he asked, gesturing to the lodge. 

“It’s a lot bigger than I thought,” you admitted. “I pictured more of a one room cabin.”

He laughed. “That wouldn’t be very good for hosting the pack,” he said.

“No,” you agreed. “I guess not.” 

“Wanna see the inside?” asked Bucky. At your nod, he waved for you to follow him and bounded up the steps, easily taking two at a time. You took your time, looking around the forest. The trees stretched as far as you could see. You didn’t realize there was this much forest so near to you. The only sign of civilization you could make out was a cell tower a few miles away. You couldn’t even see the highway you had exited to get here. 

Bucky held the door open for you, and then immediately bumped into you as he tried to close it. You had stopped short right in the doorway. 

The interior looked like a 70’s designer’s wet dream. The walls were paneled with wood, with the exception of one wall that was only windows. A staircase led up to what appeared to be a loft, and to your right was the kitchen with an offshooting hallway. Plants covered nearly every surface, and in the center of the living room, the pièce de résistance. 

“Are you okay?” Bucky asked, his hands hovering just over your shoulders.

“Bucky,” you croaked out.

“Yeah?”

“Is that a conversation pit?”

Yes, in the center of the room, stairs led down into a large, rectangle shaped couch that was set into the floor. There was a wooden coffee table in the center, with another plant on top. It was a conversation pit. You didn’t know those even existed anymore. 

“Huh? Oh!” Bucky finally stepped around you, since you remained frozen in place. “Yeah,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “Came with the place. Didn’t have the heart to fill it in.”

“Bucky.” You turned to him with urgency. “Please never fill in the conversation pit,” you pleaded. “That’s like hunting an endangered animal.”

Bucky smiled quizzically. “So… you like it?”

“I love it,” you exclaimed. You brushed past him, eager to explore the pit. You nearly tripped down the stairs, but once you sat on the couch, you stretched out with an enthusiastic cry. “It’s perfect.” 

Bucky joined you and set your bag on the couch at your feet. “Did you, uh, want a tour?”

“Give me a minute,” you said. “I’m processing.”

“Alrighty then.” Bucky sat on the couch opposite you. He let you bask in blissful silence for a few more minutes before he began to fidget. “Was the drive okay? Did I ask you that?” 

You sighed and sat up. Guess your time for processing was over. “You did. It was,” you answered. You pulled out your phone, remembering that you had to text Carol and tell her you’d made it. “It’s not too far, you know.”

“I know,” he said quickly. “It’s just, y’know, I worry.” Bucky crossed his legs and then uncrossed then. He seemed not to know what to do with his hands.

You looked him up and down. “Are you… okay?”

“Yeah,” he said with a short laugh. “Sorry. This is what the change is like for me. I get very uncomfortable. You being here doesn’t help.” He blanched as he realized what he said. “Oh, (Y/N), I didn’t—“

“I make you uncomfortable?” you asked as you stood. 

Bucky stood as well. “No, no! Well— Yes, sorta, but not in the way you’re thinking,” he said, obviously scrambling for the correct words.

You crossed your arms over your chest. “In what way, then?” You arched an eyebrow.

“I just like you,” said Bucky. He shifted his weight, backing up a little. “And I feel like you don’t like me very much, and that makes me nervous.”

“Oh,” you said. Now it was your turn to be uncomfortable. “Why do you think I don’t like you?” you asked in a softer tone.

Bucky smiled slightly. “Because,” he said, “You’ve made it pretty explicitly clear you’re not interested in having anything to do with me.” 

“Oh,” you said again. He had a point. You fidgeted, digging your fingers into your forearm. “I don’t not like you, Bucky, I just don’t know you. And this whole thing—“ You gestured with both hands, throwing them up towards the ceiling. “This is new and scary, and I’m really not good with change,” you admitted.

“Do you mean the lodge?” he asked hesitantly.

“No, Bucky, I mean the fact that we’re werewolves,” you sighed, letting your hands drop. 

“Oh, right.” 

“Yeah,” you agreed. “Right.” You plopped back onto the couch, suddenly exhausted. 

Instead of taking a seat across from you again, Bucky sat next to you. “It’ll be okay, (Y/N),” he said. 

You shut your eyes and rubbed your temples. “How can you sound so sure about that? This is mental.”

Bucky snorted. “Who uses the word mental?” he asked. “Ow!”

You had swatted his arm. “I do,” you grumbled, but couldn’t resist smiling. Your nerves momentarily calmed, you stood and stretched, letting out a pleased groan. Bucky stood as well. When you looked at him, you could see a light blush dusting his cheeks. 

“Ready for that tour now?” he asked meekly. 

“Lead on, Alpha,” you teased. 

“Right.” He hastily turned away and bounded up the stairs in a single step. 

You followed at a slower pace, taking the stairs like a normal person. You took some time to look around before you followed him into the kitchen. “This is the kitchen,” he stated.

“Thanks,” you deadpanned. “I wouldn’t have known.”

Bucky made a face and led you down the offshooting hallway. “Here are rooms that I have the rest of the pack stay in. I figured you could have the one at the end of the hall on the right.” Bucky cleared his throat. “It’s, uh, right next to mine,” he added. “In case you need anything.”

You felt your face heat up. “Thanks,” you mumbled. 

“You can put your stuff in there if you want,” said Bucky. He pushed open the door. The inside was cozy enough, with a little dresser and a twin bed. Beside the bed was a table with a lamp and beside that was a window that had a nice view of the forest. You set your bag on the dresser and stood by the window. Upon closer inspection, you found you could see the driveway. There was another car parked beside yours.

You pointed towards it and looked at Bucky, who had joined you by the window. “Who’s that?” you asked. 

Bucky perked up, a grin forming immediately. “That happens to be my best friend,” he said happily. “C’mon, let’s meet him at the door.” Bucky took your hand and dragged you along to the front door. Jesus, he really was excitable. You tried not to focus too hard on how nice it felt to hold his hand, even if it was gloved like usual.

Bucky flung open the front door, somehow not startling his new visitor and supposed best friend. You guessed if they really were best friends, whoever it was would be used to that kind of behavior. The first thing you noticed was the many aluminum containers, stacked on top of each other and obscuring the new visitors face. The second thing you noticed was the smell, familiar like Bucky’s but very different. 

The visitor’s voice rang out from behind the aluminum. “Help me, would’ya, Buck?”

“Oh, sure, Steve,” Bucky replied, quickly dropping your hand to take the containers from his friend. Bucky turned and brought them to the kitchen, leaving you alone with the newcomer.

He, Steve, rubbed his hands together and focused on you. You both stared at each other for a split second, clearly sizing each other up. “Hi,” he said, and you relaxed a bit. He seemed nice enough. 

“Hey,” you greeted in return.

He stuck his hand out. “I’m Steve. Are you (Y/N)?”

“I am,” you confirmed, shaking his hand. It was calloused, but not in any way unpleasant. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” he said with a smile, letting go of your hand after giving it a squeeze. Steve picked up the bag by his feet, and you stepped aside to let him in. 

“You have?” you asked as he shut the door behind himself. 

Steve nodded. “Oh sure,” he said. “Bucky won’t shut up—“

Bucky, who had reentered the room, clapped a hand on his friend’s shoulder, making Steve wince and quiet down. “Aha, yeah, thanks for that, pal,” he said. “I’m sure (Y/N) doesn’t want to hear about all that.” 

Steve grinned, and so did you. He reminded you very much of Carol. You liked him instantly. “I dunno, Bucky, if you’re talking about me, I think I have a right to know what kind of stuff you’re saying,” you mused, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“All good, I promise,” Steve said. “Very good. Actually—“

You could see Bucky’s hand tighten on Steve’s shoulder. “Steve, why don’t you go put your stuff in your room?” Bucky suggested.

Steve hummed in acknowledgment and gave you a wink before shouldering his bag. “Whatever you say, Alpha,” Steve said, the title dripping with exaggerated obedience. “I’ll just leave you two alone for a while.”

“No—“ Bucky was too late to fully deny the insinuation. Steve had already made it to the hallway. “Jerk!” Bucky called after him. He ran a hand through his hair and exhaled through his nose. When he turned to face you again, he smiled with his mouth closed. “Hungry?”

You shrugged. “I won’t say no to a plate,” you said. Whatever Steve had brought smelled good. Bucky opened the containers to reveal chicken alfredo on penne, french green beans, and a vat of mashed potatoes. “Lot of carbs,” you remarked as Bucky fixed you a hefty plate. 

“Sure,” he agreed, handing you the plate and a plastic fork. “It helps to think of the transformation as a race, or sports event in general, I guess. Athletes carbo-load to get the energy up. We do the same thing.”

“I always wanted to be an athlete,” you remarked. 

“Congrats, champ,” Bucky replied. “You did it.”

“Sweet.” You set down your plate and began to search the cabinets for a glass.

“Do you need help?” Bucky asked, appearing at your side in an instant.

“No, no.” You found the glasses and took one, filling it with water from the sink. “You’ve done enough, Bucky,” you said. “I don’t wanna trouble you.”

“No trouble,” he said earnestly. “Do you want ice?” 

“No thanks.” You smiled at him and took up your plate again. “I’m going to the pit.” In the pit, you settled into a corner seat and sat with your legs criss-cross applesauce, balancing your plate on your thigh as you placed your glass of water on the table. You had just tucked into your food when the doorbell rang. You moved to get up, but Bucky entered the room and waved you down, going to answer the door. As Bucky opened the door, Steve emerged from the back hallway, joining him at the door. You thought that was a little weird, but remained carefully silent. Pack dynamics were… new. You hoped you’d get used to them.

You tried not to cringe at the thought. Getting used to things meant sticking around. Despite your hesitancy towards commitment, the idea no longer seemed as immediately unappealing. 

You tuned back into reality to see a man step into the lodge. He was older than you, and Bucky and Steve as well. He had a kind smile, and he radiated goofy energy. When he spotted you, he waved. “Are you (Y/N)?” he called to you from the door. 

Bucky answered for you, since your mouth was full. “Yep, that’s her,” he said. “(Y/N), this is Scott.”

Scott dropped his bag by the door and bounded down into the pit to greet you. He stretched his hand out for you to shake. “It’s a real pleasure to meet you,” he said, shaking your hand with zeal.

“Thank you, Scott,” you said, fighting a smile. “Let me guess, you’ve heard a lot about me?”

“Bucky was very talkative in the group chat,” he informed you with a grin. 

Laughter burst from you, and you quickly covered your mouth with your free hand to muffle your giggles. 

Scott, very satisfied with himself, left the pit and picked up his bag, ignoring Bucky’s death glare. “I’ll go get settled,” he announced, answering Bucky’s silent order. 

When he left the room, you let out the dregs of your laughter, wiping your eyes. “Oh Bucky, not the group chat,” you said, teasing him. 

“All I did was inform everyone you would be joining us for the full moon. That’s it,” Bucky said defensively. “You’re all blowing it out of proportion.” The statement was obviously pointed at Steve. 

Steve, bless him, just took it in stride, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, alright, Buck.” He turned to you. “Sorry if we gave you the wrong impression, (Y/N),” he said. “We’re all very excited you’re here.” 

“That’s been made very clear, don’t worry,” you assured him. You stuffed another forkful of food into your mouth and relaxed into the couch. The others joined you with plates of their own and an easy conversation was struck up around you. You weren’t very involved, but that didn’t bug you much. It was nice to veg out a bit and listen. It was obvious that the three men were very close, and even though Scott was the eldest, you were beginning to see why Bucky was the Alpha. The more you watched him, the more you could work out his vibe. He had a subtle power about him; not that he was controlling or anything, more like the others looked to him for guidance and support. He was always the first to acknowledge a question, or laugh at a joke. If you had to give credit to Bucky for one thing, it would probably be his listening skills. He was a terrific listener. You on the other hand—

“What about you, (Y/N)?”

You blinked. Bucky, who you had been staring at without realizing, was now staring back at you expectantly. “Huh?” you asked.

“I asked if anyone needed anything from the kitchen,” said Bucky, a soft smirk playing on his lips. 

You felt your cheeks heat up and you looked away. “Uh, a napkin, I guess. I forgot to get one earlier,” you mumbled. 

“Okie doke,” he said. Instead of going to the stairs, which would have caused him to pass you, Bucky easily climbed over the edge of the pit. When he returned, it was in a similar manner, plopping down onto the couch next to you instead of taking the stairs. He offered you a napkin, and you took it.

“Thanks,” you said, trying to give him a smile. You wiped your mouth and cleared your throat. “It’s getting close to sunset, isn’t it?”

Steve checked his watch. “About,” he approximated. “Clint and Laura should be along any minute. They texted me when they left.” 

The statement was obviously pointed at Bucky, but you perked up nonetheless. “Clint and Laura are going to be here?” you asked Bucky. He had stretched out a little and his arm was placed on the back of the couch behind you. You tried not to panic at his proximity.

“You think they’re gonna wanna transform with a newborn baby in the house?” Bucky asked, his voice curling in your ears and sending a chill down your spine. 

You shrugged uncertainly, feeling chastised. “I didn’t know if Laura— I dunno. I don’t know all the ins and outs of lycanthropy,” you mumbled. 

“Sadly, childbirth is not an exception to the curse,” Scott said kindly. 

“Oof,” you sighed, tipping your head back. Your head brushed against Bucky’s arm, and you straightened quickly, feeling your face heat up. You weren’t sure if it was the change coming up that made you so jumpy, or something else you did not want to think about, but either way, you were getting sick of it. “Sorry,” you murmured. 

“You’re fine,” Bucky murmured back. 

You sat up straight suddenly, a gentle tingling at the base of your skull making you alert. There was a knock at the door and you scrambled up before anyone else could. Bucky was close behind you as you swung the front door open to reveal Laura, and Clint who had his hands full, shifting bags. Laura exclaimed and pulled you into an embrace. “You’re here,” she said. 

“I am,” you replied, muffled by her hair. 

“I can’t tell you how happy that makes me.” She placed her hands on your shoulders and extended her arms so she could look you over properly. “Have you eaten yet?” she asked with concern evident in her voice. 

“Yes ma’am,” you answered dutifully. “I’ve been here for a little while.”

“Food’s in the kitchen,” Bucky added, taking some of the bags so Clint could stop trying to juggle them. He and Clint moved towards the back of the cabin, to the Bartons’ room, you presumed. You shut the door behind Laura as she entered. Her right hand was still on your arm, but you found the contact very comfortable. Her presence eased your fried nerves. 

“How’s Nathaniel?” you asked as you led her to the kitchen. “Who’s with him?”

“Doing quite well,” she said with a smile. “I wish I could have brought him, but, well…” She trailed off with a slight shrug. “Anyway, we have a babysitter with the kids for the next couple of days. He’s used to the monthly absences.”

“That’s good,” you said with a sigh. “I imagine it’s hard to be away from them, though.” You began to fix Laura a plate, scooping up whatever food she indicated. 

Laura took the plate and gave you a thankful smile. “Torture,” she agreed. 

“Do the kids know why?” 

“Our oldest, Cooper, has a light grasp on the concept of lycanthropy,” she said with a touch of amusement. “He knows his dad and I are different from other parents, and that he’ll be too, when he’s older, but that’s about it. Lila’s too little to understand, and Nathaniel—” 

“He was only born yesterday,” you finished with a laugh. 

“Exactly.” She looked back as Clint and Bucky entered the kitchen, Clint sliding his arm around her waist. 

“Looks good,” said Clint, stealing a forkful of food off of Laura’s plate. 

She swatted him and he slunk away to get his own plate. Bucky snickered and joined you, once again attaching himself to your side. You found a quiet voice in your head told you to lean against him, but you forcefully ignored it, fixing your eyes on the clock on the microwave. You blanched as you noticed the time. “You said the sun sets at 7 tonight, right?” you asked Bucky. Your voice shook slightly. 

“That’s right,” he said, his eyes following yours. “Ah. I understand.” Bucky left your side and went into the living room, where Steve and Scott were discussing something with a joking sort of intensity. Bucky interrupted them. When he spoke, his voice sounded different, more… authoritative. “Guys. It’s time.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not me using my fanfics as a way to express my adoration for architectural features no one cares about 😳


	7. Chapter 7

How did you get here? That’s what you kept asking yourself as you followed Bucky down the stairs of the lodge into the woods. What chain of events had led to this? Why had your life taken this turn? Your thoughts were drowned out by the overwhelming urge to itch. You didn’t fight it, scratching at your arms. You winced as you scratched harder than you intended, breaking skin. You looked down and noticed your nails had sharpened into points, and were still growing. “Bucky…” you whimpered. 

He turned and looked, his mouth tightening into a thin line. “It’s alright,” he said, threading his arm around your shoulders. “We need to move faster, okay? I want to get deeper into the woods before the moon comes up completely.” At your nod, he took your hand, pulling you along. Steve was close behind the both of you, with Scott and the Bartons following at a more leisurely pace. It was clear the change no longer held the same amount of anxiety for them that it did for you. Bucky stopped in front of a shed, far enough into the trees that the house was out of sight. He rummaged in his pocket for a moment before he pulled out a key and unlocked the shed. “We’re going to leave our things here,” he told you. “So in the morning, if we’re separated and you can’t find another pack member, try to come back here, okay?”

“Okay,” you said, trying to memorize the shape of the shed and its placement. It was hard, with the buzz of the change distracting you, but you managed it. 

Once the shed was open, Bucky stepped inside and pulled on a string, illuminating the inside of the shed. There was a little row of lockers on one side, and a sizable stack of towels and blankets on a table under a little window. Bucky clicked open a locker, shucked off his gloves, then shouldered off his jacket, revealing a bright silver appendage in place of his left arm. 

You stared at him, your mouth agape. “Bucky, wha—”

Bucky looked at you with his eyebrows raised then looked at his arm, which your eyes were fixed on. “Oh!” he said. “Right.”

“Oh?” you repeated incredulously. 

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked as he entered the shed. 

“I forgot to tell (Y/N) about my arm,” Bucky said sheepishly. “Speaking of, Steve, do you mind?”

“Sure thing,” Steve answered, moving past you. Bucky pulled his shirt up and off, stuffing it in his locker. You flushed and looked away, sneaking a glance as Steve began to help Bucky with the process of unbuckling his harness and removing the prosthesis. After it was off, Bucky shoved that into the locker too and shut the door. 

“Have to remove it so it doesn’t break when I change,” he explained to you. 

“Of course,” you croaked out. You cleared your throat, embarrassed by your behavior. You were a medical professional for crying out loud. “Yes,” you said in your usual voice. “That makes sense. Sorry, I don’t mean to stare, I just didn’t expect—”

“No, that’s okay,” Bucky rushed to say. “I should’ve told you.”

“You don’t have to tell me anything, Bucky. There’s no reason you would have to share something like that with me.”

“Still, I should’ve warned you—”

“Buck,” Steve interrupted. “Moon. Full. Coming up.”

“Right,” Bucky sighed. He looked at you. “Sorry again.”

“No, I am,” you offered. Time to change the subject. “Um, so, do I get a locker?” 

“Yes,” Bucky said, enthusiastically going with your non sequitur. “This one here on the end.” He popped open the door for you and gave you a grin.

You stepped towards it, sweat beading up on your brow as you had to get closer to him. You were unable to stop your eyes from scanning his shirtless torso, lingering for an extra moment on his amputated shoulder. It was criss crossed with scar tissue, aggravated, you were sure, by the oncoming change. You looked up to see his eyes on you and looked away quickly. Steve was beginning to take off his clothing and store it in his locker next to Bucky’s. You decided the safest place for your gaze would be inside the locker, so you stared intensely at the gray-painted metal, fighting the heat in your cheeks that rolled on through your body. 

“Wanna know how I lost it?” Bucky asked quietly, leaning against the side of the locker. He was so close, he was all you could smell, overpowering everyone else, even as Scott and the Bartons joined the rest of you in the shed. It was making you dizzy. 

“Huh?” you asked airily, still not looking at him. 

“Bucky, leave her alone,” Laura scolded. “Finish getting ready.” 

“Yes ma’am,” he said, ducking his head and going back to his own locker. 

She shook her head. “Boys,” she said, exasperated. 

“Um, Laura?”

“Yes, honey?” 

You fidgeted. You had rarely felt this level of uncertainty. It was really making you uncomfortable. “Should I undress, or…? How does this work?” you asked. 

“Whatever makes you comfortable,” she answered immediately. “We undress because it feels like such a waste to tear through clothes.” 

“Yeah, I get that,” you said weakly. You fixed your eyes on the ceiling as the others began to fully strip down. 

“How about you and I wait outside until they’re done?” suggested Laura, already guiding you out of the shed. 

You sighed as soon as the night air hit you. “Thank you. That was overwhelming.”

“I can imagine,” she said. “Once they’re done, we’ll go in and change, okay? I usually wrap up in a blanket to wait.”

“That’s a good idea,” you said. “Then it just drops off when you start to change.”

“Exactly.” Laura smiled. She began to rub small circles on your back between your shoulder blades. “It’ll be alright,” she said, soothing your unsaid worries. “We’ve all got you. You don’t need to be alone in this.”

Tears pricked at your eyes. “It’s just—” You inhaled sharply. “It’s not fair,” you manage weakly, swallowing a sob. 

“It’s not,” she agreed. “Not at all.” Laura tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “You didn’t deserve for this to happen to you.”

Then you did start crying, unable to stop the floodgates from opening. You weren’t sure what possessed you, but you turned and buried your head in Laura’s shoulder, sobbing openly against her sweater. All the while she continued to rub small circles on your back, cooing and gently shushing you in a comforting way. 

From behind Laura, you heard the shed door creak. You straightened quickly and inhaled, wiping away your tears. Your nails scraped your cheek, but you hardly noticed the cut, smothering your sobs into hiccups. Your hiccups halted suddenly. You didn’t have any breath with which to produce them.

Bucky stepped out of the shed, a towel tied loosely around his hips. The ‘v’ of his hips was just barely visible, his hip bones peeking over the top. Your eyes followed the faint line of hair that ran down his stomach and vanished behind the towel. “Are you okay?” he asked, voice full of concern. Your eyes snapped up to see his eyebrows furrowed and his big blue eyes fixed on you.

“Uh—” you said eloquently.

“You’re bleeding.” He stepped into your personal space, his hand straying to your cheek to brush away the thin trickle of blood that ran from the scratch. “Were you crying?” he asked quietly. 

“Honestly, Bucky, would you leave the poor child alone?” Laura asked with exasperation. “The moon is nearly up. Worry about yourself for now.” Laura threaded her arm through yours and pulled you towards the shed as the other men streamed out. 

“This is too much to handle,” you breathed as Laura shut the door behind you. 

She shook her head. “Puppy love,” she remarked simply. She started to remove her clothing, folding each article before placing it into the locker with Clint’s things. 

You decided not to ask her to elaborate, though your face warmed at her insinuation. You kept your eyes fixed on the locker as you removed your own clothing. Unwilling to part with your bra, you kept that and your panties on, draping yourself in a blanket. You could feel the moon cresting over the trees. Your spine began to tingle. Looking up, you could see Laura’s eyes flash, and she nodded towards the door. “Ready?” she asked.

“No,” you said miserably. 

She smiled sadly. “I know, sweetie.” She gave your shoulder a final squeeze. “We’ll be right with you,” Laura assured you. 

“Thanks,” you said earnestly. Then, you squared your shoulders, and walked straight into the moonlight outside. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very excited for the next chapter, be prepared for things to get very werewolf-y !!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's gross.

The light burned. You barely made it out of the shed before you collapsed, a scream tearing its way out of your throat. You were dimly aware of hands on your shoulders and concerned voices around you. Mostly you heard your own breath heaving. 

“Is this her first time?” you heard one voice say in a panic.

Another voice, closer and more sure sounding, answered. “No,” it said. “But she’s only felt the change once before.”

The food from earlier in the evening churned violently in your stomach. Saliva erupted in your mouth. You shook your head quickly. You didn’t want to throw up. You really really didn’t. 

Another voice, soothing and familiar and so close, urged you to let it out. “Don’t hold it in,” it said gently. 

“I don’t wanna,” you moaned. 

“Give her space,” the sure sounding voice ordered. You heard footsteps retreating quickly. 

You looked up, blinking away the tears that blurred your vision. “It hurts,” you said, your voice garbled even to your own ears; and it did hurt. Searing pain shot through each of your limbs, pulsing with a bright heat. You could feel the layer of fur starting to push through your skin, tearing the delicate human flesh as the wolf fought to come out. You gagged and bent your head, your hand flying up to your mouth. You clutched your jaw, crying out in pain as your canines elongated and your lips curled into a muzzle. You cried out again as your back arched and your head flew back. The blanket fell away, but you were beyond caring. Your arms, longer now and coated in fur, bent back in an attempt to save your balance as your spine curved to accommodate your widening rib cage. 

You clutched your sides and fell to your right, spasming as you felt the need to simultaneously stretch out and curl into the fetal position. You screamed with a voice that was no longer yours, but belonged to something older and more animalistic. You opened your bleary eyes and saw your clawed hand scratching at the ground, Your legs kicked out. They were completely different, your foot elongated so the ball of your foot turned to paws and your heel was now where the middle of your calf used to be. You kicked out again, more of a twitch than anything, and your foot (paw?) collided with something. You heard a muffled ‘oof’ and gargled out an apology with your strange wolf tongue that clashed against your new fangs. 

“Stop fighting it,” a firm voice ordered.

You attempted to follow the order. Despite the tension in your muscles, you made an effort to relax. You shut your eyes tight and breathed in sharply. The pain was starting to lessen. Your bones were growing and shifting still, but it was easier now. Where there was once bare skin was now fur. Your panties hung in tatters around your hips, replaced by a pelt and a tail. The bra dug into your newly stretched ribs, and you sliced it apart with your elongated nails, ripping the fabric in two as easy as butter. The pain began to fade into a surge of strength. You turned onto your stomach and clambered up onto your new limbs. 

Your legs shook. You pawed at your face, hitting a muzzle instead of a nose. You gave yourself an experimental shake, airing out your slightly damp coat. You swallowed hard and blinked until your eyes were clear. Pain still curled in your limbs and curdled your stomach, but it was easy to ignore as you were overtaken by your newly heightened senses. The world around you was so much sharper, in sight and smell. There was a rustle to your right, and you could feel your ears prick up and then lay flat against your skull as you shifted into a preparatory fighting stance. 

It took a moment for you to register who it was. Humans seemed unfamiliar to you now, the wolf pushing your human sense to the back of your brain. Bucky backed up a few paces. “Easy,” he said, his hand raised in a peace-making gesture. You lifted your nose and inhaled, testing the air. He smelled the same way he did the night you met him in the supermarket, only stronger. You could smell the change on him; he only had a few minutes left before the transformation. You hightailed it out of there. You heard him call after you, but you ignored it.

You were wobbly at first, still adjusting to your new limbs. Bounding through the trees, you started to feel the strength of your taught muscles. You skidded to a stop at the base of a particularly large tree, and tensed. You sprung up and landed on a lower branch, probably 7 or 8 feet above the ground. A swell of joy bloomed in your chest, and you looked back to see your tail wagging. You jumped down and took off again, your longer legs allowing for longer strides. 

A growl made you slow down. You continued forward with trepidation, your ears pressed back against your skull and your body coiled into a tense spring. 

The form that stepped in your line of sight was larger than you, dark even to your sharpened sight. As it got closer and stepped into the moonlight, you could see it was another wolf, its pelt startlingly silver, almost white. Your ears pressed back and your tail tucked between your legs, anxiety curling in your stomach as you cowered. Bucky’s scent curled in your nostrils. The wolf was missing its left arm. Your tail began to wag slowly and your ears perked again. He approached you slowly, staring at you intently. His blue eyes had turned to liquid gold. He leaned over and smelled your neck, tilting his head to invite you to do the same. You sniffed delicately, Bucky’s smell overwhelming your senses and making you shrink back. ‘It’s alright,’ you heard a voice in your head say. ‘It’s me.’

Your ears perked and you swung your head from side to side, trying to discern the source of the voice. Unable to find one, you stared intently at Bucky, backing up several paces as your anxiety rose. ‘Bucky?’ you thought experimentally.

‘Yes,’ the voice in your head said. ‘Relax. This is normal.’

‘Normal? There’s nothing normal about this,’ you thought in a panic. You bared your teeth and squatted, trying to get lower to the ground as you continued to move back. ‘How can I relax when I look like this?’

‘You are still the same person inside,’ said Bucky. ‘You just look different.’ Bucky stalked towards you slowly, his ears forward to gauge your reaction better.

As he approached, you tried not to tense, but it was difficult, your wolf instincts telling you to flee. Still, you felt comforted by his presence, rather than frightened, and your tail began to wag in earnest. You could see his tail wag as well. You straightened, finally able to relax, as he requested. ‘Better?’ Bucky asked in your head.

‘I think so,’ you replied. ‘Where is everybody else?’

‘I wanted them to give you some space while you adjusted. I’ll call them now.’ Bucky lifted his muzzle towards the sky, inhaled deeply, and let out a bone chilling howl. Your instincts took over, and you joined him, letting your voice meld with his as you both howled into the night. 

As soon as your howling ceased, you heard fast footsteps approaching. Crashing through the brush, a light brown werewolf bounded up to Bucky, tackling him to the ground. The two play-wrestled until Bucky pinned him with a gentle growl. The other wolf was unperturbed and turned his head to face you, his tongue lolling out of his mouth as he grinned at you. You sniffed cautiously in his direction. ‘Steve?’

‘Hey, (Y/N),’ Steve’s voice said in your head immediately. ‘You look good.’ 

‘Thanks,’ you said meekly. You settled onto your haunches and tried not to shy back as Steve approached you. More sniffing ensued, and soon your tail was wagging again. More wolves emerged from the trees, and it was easy enough to discern who was who, especially when Laura, whose coat was a beautiful silken gray, made a beeline for you. ‘What do we do now?’ you asked Laura. 

‘Whatever we want,’ she answered, her voice in your head tinged with amusement. 

‘Usually we hunt,’ Clint supplied.

Your stomach growled at the thought, much to your human half’s revulsion. 

‘Can you handle that?’ Scott’s voice piped up in your head. 

Steve stuck up for you immediately, even before Laura or Bucky got the chance to. ‘Oh she can handle it alright,’ he said assuredly. ‘You should’ve seen her after the transformation; she scaled a tree like it was nothing.’

You downturned your eyes, a rush of embarrassment mixing with the feeling of elation at his praise. ‘You saw that?’ you asked.

‘Sure,’ said Steve, ‘You damn near took me out with how fast you ran past.’ 

Bucky straightened, drawing all eyes towards him and, thankfully, away from you. Your tail began to wag before you could stop it. The way he could command attention without even saying anything… 

Laura thwacked you with her tail, clearing your mind in an instant. Your ears pressed back as you felt another wave of embarrassment. Right, they could access your thoughts, or whatever the fuck kind of freaky telepathy bullshit was happening. 

Bucky seemed different in full alpha mode— more concise. All he said was, ‘Let’s go,’ and then turned tail, taking off deep into the woods and leaving the rest of the pack to follow. 

After that, the rest of the night was a blur, like, a literal blur. Most of it was spent running, you were pretty sure. Some rabbits and a whitetail buck lost their lives, but it was almost unavoidable; all the calories you had shoveled in your mouth earlier in the night were burned off with the change. 

By the time the pack had swerved back towards the shed, you felt dead on your feet and grimy as all hell. Your fur was matted with blood, and you were sweaty, which was unfortunate because while real wolves didn’t sweat, werewolves apparently did, a gross remnant of your human form. Though your belly was full, your bones had a hollow sort of ache to them as the moon dipped below the treeline. Your shambling walk turned into a stumble, and then you tripped over your own paws and fell muzzle first into the dirt. Bucky crouched next to you and offered you a clawed hand. You took it and he tugged you up, supporting you with his arm around your waist. 

Your head started to feel fuzzy, and soon you couldn’t keep yourself up, your body relying entirely on Bucky to keep you upright. He seemed to realize this and carefully lowered you to the ground. You blissfully embraced the ground and rolled onto your back, looking up at the fading stars. You could feel your skin start to loosen, your fur detaching from your musculature as if you were being skinned. Groaning, you curled up into a ball. ‘You’re fighting it again,’ a voice in your head reminded you. You were too exhausted to discern who was talking to you, so you simply whined through your monstrous mouth and tried to wait out your second transformation of the night. 

Thankfully, shrinking was less painful than growing, but you could still feel all of it. Your fingers felt like nubs compared to the claws you had before; speaking of, your claws popped off like cheap fake nails, revealing bloodied human fingers. Your feet returned to their usual flat shape, and your back popped and cracked loudly as your vertebrae straightened out. Your ribcage felt like it detached from your monstrous outer form, and then it was as if you were wearing a full-body costume you couldn’t quite figure out how to get out of. You decided on the mouth, which you were now peeking out of, your skull now human shaped once more. You pulled your hands from the sleeves that were once your arms and fitted them in the mouth cavity, pulling it apart. It split easily, making a sound like paper tearing, but wet somehow. You tore out of your fur like a cocoon, gasping as the air hit your slimy, naked skin. You crawled away from the wreckage of your transformation, glancing back to watch the fur dissolve into the ground. You shuddered, both from the chill and how goddamned creepy that was. 

A towel descended around your shoulders. You looked up, half-conscious, to see a dried, but still slimy, Bucky wrapped in a towel of his own and kneeling beside you. You were too tired to feel shy about your nudity, and instead immediately reached out for him. “I’m here,” he assured you, using the towel on your shoulders to start to clean you off. 

When you spoke, though you knew it was your voice, it sounded gravelly and near unrecognizable. “That was so fucking gross,” you croaked. 

Bucky laughed, a deep, belly laugh that made your stomach flutter. “Yeah,” he agreed. “It’s gross.”

Once you were cleaned off to a point that Bucky found suitable, he gestured behind him. Laura quickly appeared with a big fluffy blanket and handed it to Bucky, who wrapped it carefully around you. “I’m going to carry you to the lodge,” he told you, leaving no room for argument. 

That didn’t stop you from trying. “No,” you protested in a squeak. “You’re probably as tired as I am, you can’t—”

He held up a hand. “I can. I will.” 

That shut you up. You nodded and watched him stand, holding your arms out for him as he bent to pick you up. Tucked against his chest with your arms around his neck, you felt more comfortable than you had in a long time. You were dimly aware of the rest of the pack following him, their amicable chatting lulling you to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part of the reason I wrote this fic was because I'm obsessed with werewolf transformation processes. I was so excited to write this chapter, I hope you like it!! I based the initial change off of An American Werewolf in London, and the second one sort of off Van Helsing with my own spice thrown in there


	9. Chapter 9

You blinked your bleary eyes and sat up in bed. You had the strangest dreams last night, though it was hard to remember them. Everything had been a painful blur. Speaking of pain, you groaned as you stretched, your muscles strangely sore. You rubbed your shoulder, your eyebrows furrowing at the feeling of bare skin. Were you…? You looked down to see your bare breasts and torso. You were naked. Why were you naked?

A knock on the door made you jump. Who would be knocking? You didn’t live with anyone—

You quickly covered yourself as the door, not your bedroom door you came to realize, creaked open and Bucky poked his head in, his hand covering his eyes. “(Y/N)? You awake?” he asked in a hushed voice.

“Bucky—? What the hell?” you asked, pulling the blankets tighter against your chest. He moved his hand for a brief moment and you squeaked. “Keep your eyes covered!”

You could tell he was fighting a smile. “Sorry, I just wanted to tell you that the bathroom is empty so you could shower,” he explained. “Laura and Clint are making breakfast.” 

You were silent as you were hit with the memory of coming to Bucky’s cabin for the weekend so you could transform in peace with the rest of the pack. “Bucky,” you said shakily. “What day is it?”

Bucky turned his head into the hallway, presumably to check his watch. “Monday.”

“Monday?” you choked out in repetition. “But— I got here Friday. That was yesterday, wasn’t it?” 

“No, it’s definitely Monday,” confirmed Bucky. “Listen, why don’t you take a shower and get something to eat, and then we can talk about it, okay?” 

“Does Carol think I’m dead?” you asked quietly.

Bucky laughed. “No no, I had you call her last night to check in. Don’t you remember?”

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you were dimly aware of Carol’s concerned voice and your assurances that Bucky hadn’t killed you. “I guess,” you murmured. You stood on shaky legs and walked over to your bag on the dresser, your blankets dragging on the floor as you kept them tucked around you. Your phone was placed beside it, and when you checked it, you could see there were no emergent notifications, no frantic calls from your best friend or distressed text messages. You exhaled. Good. Okay. At least you wouldn’t have to deal with missing persons again. 

You scooped some clothes from your bag and tucked them against your chest, turning to see Bucky watching you. He quickly put his hand back over his eyes and let out an awkward chuckle. He cleared his throat. “Sorry,” he said.

You took pity on him. “It’s okay.” Keeping the blankets around you, you shouldered past him into the hall and towards the bathroom. He, unnecessarily, pushed open the bathroom door for you. “Thanks,” you said lamely. You stared at him as he closed the door, and then you faced the shower, a surge of gratitude rushing through you. Starting the water and turning it as high as it would go, you let the blankets drop. Kicking them aside, you stepped under the stream of water and sighed. The rush of heat over your skin was delectable, washing away the grime of the night before. Alone under the water, you had more time to try and piece together your hazy memories. The very first time you turned, you couldn’t remember anything at all, so you weren’t surprised it happened again. It was just strange. You had assumed that by being with the other pack members, it wouldn’t be as… traumatic? If that’s the reason your brain blocked it. Maybe Bucky could explain it better. 

You washed lazily, letting the hot water work out the tension in your body. By the time you were done showering, you felt rubbery and warm. You dried off and dressed, and followed your nose to the kitchen. Clint was flipping pancakes while Laura was sorting out biscuits and talking on the phone. She gave you a little wave. You approached Clint just as he slid another pancake on the growing stack beside him. “Morning, (Y/N),” he greeted pleasantly. 

“Morning,” you replied, feeling a little shy. Though you were comfortable around Laura, her husband still mystified you. “The food smells great.”

Clint grinned. “Let’s hope it tastes good too,” he joked. He nodded his head towards the stack of styrofoam plates at the end of the counter. “They’re nearly ready, if you wanna grab a plate.”

You eagerly plucked one from the stack and held it out for Clint to pile some pancakes onto. To the plate, you added scrambled eggs and bacon. Laura offered you a biscuit, but you refused it for the time being. Then you descended into the conversation pit where Bucky and Steve were talking. “Food’s ready,” you told them as you plopped down near, but not quite next to, Bucky. 

“Oh boy,” said Steve. He popped up and hopped over the edge of the pit, practically running to the kitchen. 

Bucky snorted and shook his head, getting up much more slowly than Steve. “I better go before he takes all of it,” he remarked with a smile.

“Bring me back some syrup?” you asked as he climbed the stairs. 

Bucky gave you a quick thumbs up and joined his friend in the kitchen. You munched on some bacon, and watched as Scott sleepily shambled into the living room. 

“Hi Scott,” you greeted. “Food’s ready in the kitchen.”

He brightened almost immediately. “Thanks, (Y/N)!” Scott made a 180 and headed for the kitchen. 

Soon, everyone, including the Bartons, had joined you in the pit. Bucky had brought you the syrup, and he’d even gone out of his way to bring you a glass of orange juice, which you accepted gratefully. You ate your food with the same vigor as everyone else. Hunger was only part of the reason why; it was actually really good!

Scott echoed your internal sentiment. “This curse thing can’t be that bad if it means Clint makes us breakfast after every full moon,” he mused after letting out a harty burp. 

Everyone laughed. “Thanks, buddy,” Clint replied. “‘Preciate that.”

A comfortable silence descended over the group as you all finished your breakfast and lounged about in a state of satisfaction. Perhaps it was the three days of bonding you couldn’t quite remember, but something about the pack made you feel nice, like you belonged there. You felt comfortable enough that you were able to stretch out as well, laying on your side with your head close to Bucky’s thigh. 

Eventually, the pack had enough of vegetation and began to mill about. Scott and the Bartons collected their things from their rooms and came to bade you goodbye. You stood to give Laura a hug. “Gotta go home to the kids,” she explained as she hugged you tightly. “I hope we get to see you again.” 

You felt your cheeks heat up and you smiled. “Sure,” you said. “Let me know how the kids are doing.”

“Will do,” Clint piped up. He had his hands full with the bags, the spit image of how he looked when they first got to the cabin. Laura gave you one last hug, then she hugged Bucky, murmuring something that made him blush before they left. 

Scott was the next one out. “Gotta go pick up Cassie,” he said brightly. “Nice to meet you, (Y/N). I look forward to seeing you next month.”

“Thanks, Scott,” you said, smiling. “You too.”   


“Be safe,” Bucky called as Scott left with a wave. 

Steve disappeared into the back after saying goodbye to his packmates, and then it was just you and Bucky in the pit. You and Bucky retook your seats, and you sprawled out again. 

For a while you two just chilled. Then, you rolled onto your back so you could look up at Bucky. “So,” you said, breaking the silence. “Can I ask a question?”

Bucky lazily lifted his head and opened an eye to peek at you. “You just did,” he mused. 

You reached out and smacked his knee. “You know what I mean,” you said in a huff.

“Go for it.”

“I actually have several questions.”

Bucky smiled. “Ask away,” he said. 

You sat up and turned to him, sitting criss-cross applesauce. You waited a minute to try and get all your thoughts in order. You tried the question you thought might be easiest to answer. “How’d you lose your arm?” you asked, blushing as soon as you asked. “You don’t have to answer if that’s insensitive or stupid, or whatever, I just remember you offered to tell me and—”

“That’s alright,” he said with a laugh. Bucky sat up and faced you, mirroring your posture without crossing his legs. “I was in the army with Steve and Sam—”

“Your therapist friend at the VA,” you supplied.

“That’s right,” he confirmed. “We were stationed in Afghanistan. I fell out of a plane.”

“You— What?”

Bucky nodded. “I know, crazy right? We got hit with something, probably a missile, and it knocked me right out. I couldn’t pull my parachute in time, we didn’t have enough altitude. I’m lucky the arm was all I lost.” He rubbed his shoulder, his thumb brushing over the line where his prosthetic met flesh. He dropped his hand and his expression turned tumultuous. “They didn’t find me for a while,” he added quietly. 

“Holy shit, Bucky.” Before you could stop yourself, you reached out and took his hand. You realized he wasn’t wearing gloves like he usually did. “I’m so sorry.”

He smiled tiredly and gave your hand a squeeze. “Hey, don’t worry about it,” said Bucky. He sounded weary. “Anyway, I was discharged after that. It was near the end of my tour anyway. Sam and Steve didn’t reenlist. They stayed with me and helped me recover. Everything turned out okay.”

You swallowed. “When did you—? Y’know,” you murmured. 

“A couple years after that,” he sighed. “I reckon it’s been about five years now?” He took his hand back and scratched the stubble on his cheek. “Yeah, that sounds right.”

“Holy shit,” you marvel. “That’s— Wow.” You took a moment to process, just staring at him. Five years of being a werewolf? You could barely handle two months of it. “How’d it happen?”

He shrugged. “How’s it happen to everyone? Got bit.” Bucky leaned his head and shoulder against the back of the couch and looked down. “It was pretty cliché, actually. Dark street, walking too late at night, that sort of thing. I was near Central Park. Saw a shadow, didn’t think too much about it. Stupid, really,” he said, scoffing out a laugh. 

You nodded. “I get it,” you told him. Your mouth tightened into a thin line. “I was walking to my car after work. I drove home with my scrubs covered in blood. I’m just thankful Carol hadn’t been home, she would’ve made me go back to the hospital.” 

Bucky’s hand ventured out, and you didn’t resist as he took your hand in his, intertwining your fingers. “I’m sorry,” he said, so earnestly it brought tears to your eyes. You quickly wiped them away with your free hand. 

“Yeah, well, me too,” you said with a soft laugh, trying to ignore the thickness in your voice. “So, uh, how’d you become the leader of the pack?”

“I sorta fell into it,” he admitted. “After I got bit, Steve was pretty adamant about me biting him as well.”

You looked at him with wide eyes. “He… asked to be bitten?”

Bucky nodded, a wistful smile on his lips. “He didn’t want me to be alone.”

Steve’s devotion struck a chord with you. He really reminded you so much of Carol. You were almost sure if you told her, she’d ask for the same thing. Maybe deep down you’ve known that all along, and that’s why you’ve kept it from her. You wouldn’t want her to have to go through the change. You wouldn’t wish the curse on anyone.

“I knew if I didn’t do it, he’d go find someone who would,” Bucky continued, “Or get himself into something worse. Steve’s stubborn like that.”

“I know what you mean,” you murmured. 

Bucky nodded. “Still, I waited about a year, more so I could guide him through it than anything. I didn’t think it would do the city of New York any good to have two new werewolves prowling the streets,” he joked, cracking a smile. 

You smiled as well. “So, how’d you end up here?” you asked. 

“Sam moved here first, actually,” he explained. “Left me and Steve in New York for a while until we figured the city was too risky for us to be there. Too many potential lives to be taken.”

His bluntness surprised you. A sudden wave of fear shot through you. Had you—?

“Hey, hey, don’t panic,” he said, sitting up. “You’re clean. I could smell it on you otherwise. The only life on your conscience is an unlucky bunny or two.” He scooted closer and placed his hand on your leg. “That’s why we’re out here, right? Far from people. No neighbors, not near enough to the state park to have unwitting hikers.”

You felt your shoulders relax. “You’re right,” you said. “It’s just, it’s hard. When I can’t remember.” 

“I know,” said Bucky, and you could see he did know. “It’ll get easier to remember. The first couple of times, your mind is so one-track, and your senses are so new, your human brain can’t process it. The two sides will start to meld with time.”

“That’s not exactly reassuring,” you said dryly.

Bucky laughed. “No,” he agreed. “I imagine right now it’s not.” He patted your leg gently and pulled away, standing and stretching. “My only hope is that I can help you accept it faster than I did.”

You softened, staring up at him. You hoped your heart eyes weren’t so obvious. “Thanks, Bucky. That’s very kind of you.”

He gave you a crooked sort of smile. “It’s what I do,” he said. Bucky jutted his thumb towards the kitchen. “Can I get you anything? A drink, maybe?”

You looked at him and then the clock on the wall. “I think I really ought to be getting home,” you said hesitantly. “Thanks for the offer though.”

Bucky seemed to deflate a little as you stood. “I understand,” he said, nodding. “Can I see you again soon?”

You weighed the question. A part of you, one that was steadily growing, didn’t want to wait until the next full moon to see Bucky again. “Yeah,” you answered after a moment of deliberation. “Yeah, okay.” 

He brightened considerably. “Really?” 

You smiled shyly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear as you looked down. Jesus, how dorky could you be? “Yeah, I’d, um, I’d like that. Maybe we could watch a movie or something.”

“I love movies,” he said immediately. 

You laughed. “Good. Me too.” You backed up towards the stairs. “I’m gonna go pack up my stuff,” you told him.

“Alright,” Bucky said with a grin. 

You left the pit and walked to your assigned room, cheeks burning. You gathered your stuff hurriedly into your bag, ensuring you had all of your stuff before shouldering it. By the time you returned to the living room, Steve had joined Bucky and they were talking with their heads close together. They looked up as you entered. “Hey,” Steve greeted brightly. His eyes went to your bag. “You leaving?” He sounded sad. 

“Yeah,” you said, shifting in place. “I have work tomorrow, so. Y’know.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Well, it was really great to meet you!”

“Thanks, Steve,” you said with a smile. “The feeling is mutual.”

Bucky bounded out of the conversation pit and went to you, gesturing towards the door. “I’ll walk you out,” he told you.

“Thanks.” You peeked around him to wave at Steve. “Bye, Steve. See you in a month.”

Steve laughed. “You bet. Don’t be a stranger,” he said warmly. 

You hummed out an affirmative and walked out of the cabin, Bucky close behind you. He didn’t speak again until you slung your bag into the back. He rubbed his palm on his jeans nervously. “So, um, you’ll be joining us next month?” he asked. 

You looked at the trees around you. “Yeah. I think I’d like to.”

His grin was blinding. “You wanna join the pack?” he asked immediately. 

“Slow your roll, cowboy, I didn’t say that,” you said with a laugh. “But, I’m considering it.” 

“I could add you to the group chat,” he suggested, following you as you went to the driver’s side of your car. 

You shook your head and smiled as you slid in the front seat. “I dunno, Bucky, a group chat’s a big commitment,” you teased. “I’ll let you know, okay?”

“Okay,” he agreed. 

You started the car and rolled down your window before shutting the door. Bucky leaned against the door to stare at you with those big blue eyes. “You’ll let me know when you get home, right?” he asked. 

“Of course,” you said. “May I leave now?”

“If you must,” Bucky sighed dramatically, backing away from the car. “Don’t forget.”

“I won’t,” you assured him. “Bye, Bucky.”

“Bye, (Y/N).”

As you pulled away from the cabin, you could see him waving in your rearview mirror. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woohoo, bonding! and backstory!


	10. Chapter 10

“Oh my god,” Carol gasped. “You have a date.”

“It’s not a date,” you groaned. 

You had barely walked in the door after work on Tuesday when Carol came knocking, eager to hear the details of the weekend. Apparently in your phone calls, you had sounded very tired but assured her you were having fun. Maybe you had been, you couldn’t say. Regardless, now you were stationed on your bed with Carol laying beside you, regaling her with what events you could recall. Most of them you had to make up. 

“It is a date,” she continued excitedly. “He fell in love with you this weekend and now you’re going on a date, and you’re gonna fall in love with him and there will be little Barnes babies running around for me to babysit.”

You whacked her with a pillow. “We’re not falling in love,” you insisted. “This isn’t some cheesy romance novel.”

“Isn’t it?” she mused, catching the pillow and clutching it to her chest. “Our two heroes meet in a grocery store, love at first sight, but our heroine, she’s shy and hesitant to love—”

You snorted. “Is that what I am?” you interrupted.

“What? Shy and hesitant to love? Or our heroine?” 

“Yes,” you said, refusing to clarify further. Hopefully you’d derailed Carol from her tangent. You really didn’t want to think about having kids with Bucky, or how appealing the thought was. 

“You know, it’s clear to me that you like him, and his friends, and they all like you in return,” Carol said. “Though, this is not surprising to me.” She dropped the pillow and reached out to cup your cheeks with her hands and squeeze. “Who could resist this face?” she cooed. 

“I have two more pillows,” you threatened through your smushed mouth. 

“‘Though she be but little, she is fierce’,” Carol quoted, releasing you.

“Carol, we’re the same height.”

She waved away the comment. “Semantics,” she sighed. “You’re baby.”

“I’m not baby,” you protested. “I’m an adult!”

“Exactly the sort of thing someone who is baby would say,” she retorted with a grin. 

When you attempted to hit her with a pillow, she parried with her own and collapsed upon you, her head resting on your chest. Instinctively, you began to stroke her hair, sighing heavily. “What am I gonna do, Carol?” you asked quietly. 

“You’re gonna go on the date with Bucky, you’re gonna have a great time, and for the love of God, you’re gonna be happy,” she told you. “That’s what you deserve.”

Tears pricked your eyes and you took in a shuddery breath. “Don’t cry,” Carol warned.

“Wasn’t gonna,” you choked out, tears already streaming down your face. 

“Aw, you are crying!” Carol sat up and reached for your tissues, offering you them.

You took one and laughed, wiping away your tears. “Sorry,” you mumbled. “I couldn’t help it.” 

“I’m never being nice to you again,” she sighed. “You cry every time I do.” 

“Shut up.” You sat up and took another tissue to blow your nose, tossing them both towards the trash can. You missed. Carol booed you as you stood and shambled shamefully towards the trash can to throw them away properly. “Are you—?”

“Starting my meanness campaign?” she finished. “Yes, I am.”

You opened your mouth to make a retort, but your phone rang and interrupted you. You held up your pointer finger. “Wait.” You picked up the phone, saw it was Bucky, and answered. “Hello?”

“Hey, (Y/N), what’s up?”

“Not much, I—”

“Hi, Bucky,” Carol yelled, loud enough for him to hear. 

He laughed. “Carol?”

“Yep,” you sighed. “She says hi.”

“Tell her I said hi back.”

You sighed louder and pulled the phone away from your ear to roll your head towards Carol. “Bucky says hi.” When she cheered, you put the phone back against your cheek. “What’s up?”

“Laura invited the pack over to see the baby. Do you wanna go? You can bring Carol,” he told you.

You hesitated. “Oh, I dunno, Buck—”

“What is it?” Carol asked, scrambling up. “What did he say?” She snatched the phone from you despite your protest, and easily held you at bay as you tried to get it back. “Hey Bucky. What’s that? Really? I would be delighted! (Y/N) would, too.” Carol nodded along to whatever Bucky was saying on the other line. “When? Oh? Right now? Sure! Yep. See you then. I’ll have her text you the address. Yep. Bye, Bucky.” She hung up and handed you the phone. “He’s coming to pick us up.”

“What?” you shrieked. 

“Relax, it’s going to be so much fun,” she assured you.

“You know I can’t do spontaneity, Carol,” you protested, watching with dread as she went towards your closet. She began to rifle through it, pulling out a button up and one of your nice pairs of jeans. 

“Well I wanna go, and I can’t go without you,” she said cheerfully. Carol handed you the clothing and smiled at you. “What are you nervous about? You already know all these people.”

You found it hard to argue with her. Plus, you really wanted to check in with Laura and meet her kids. “Yeah,” you said weakly. “Okay, but you have to promise to behave.”

“I’ll do my best,” she assured you.

You hummed and took the clothes, going to the bathroom to change. You made sure to put on deodorant and a few spritzes of perfume before you returned to Carol. You found her typing on your phone. “When is he gonna be here?”

“Mm, looks like maybe 20 minutes? You should eat something so you don’t pass out.”

“I won’t—”

Carol cut you off with a knowing look and you pouted. “Fine,” you said, heading towards the kitchen. You fixed yourself a sandwich and ate it glumly as you waited for Bucky to arrive.

Carol skipped out of your room and handed you your purse. “Don’t sulk,” she pleaded. “Please?”

You grumbled and took another bite of your sandwich. You softened as Carol stood beside you and rested her head against your shoulder. “I haven’t told Bucky you and I dated,” you said softly.

“That’s alright,” she replied. Carol stood up straight and nudged you with her hip. “Do you want him to know?”

You shrugged. “I don’t see why not. You’re important to me. At least he knows that much.”

Carol’s smile sparked one of your own. “Geez, you’re a sap,” she teased. She pressed a soft kiss to your temple and you relaxed further. 

You finished your sandwich just as Bucky knocked on the door. You sighed and brushed yourself off, going to answer the door. Carol brushed past you so she could answer it first. “Hi, Bucky!” she said brightly. “Gosh, (Y/N) was right, you  _ are _ handsome.”

You pushed her aside to see Bucky blushing on your doorstep. His eyes turned to you and his look of surprise morphed into something almost… affectionate. Ugh. “You told Carol I was handsome?” he asked.

“I plead the fifth.” You pushed Carol out of the apartment and shut the door behind you both, locking it. “Let’s go.” 

“Ooh, I call shotgun,” Carol chirped. 

“Nope,” you said immediately.

Bucky’s eyes flicked from Carol to you as you both turned to him for his decision. “Well, in fairness, she did call it first,” he said meekly. 

“Yes,” she cheered. She slung her arm around his shoulders and grinned at him. “I like you already, Bucky.”

He gave you a surprised look as Carol dragged him towards his car, which was more of a minivan than anything. 

You couldn’t help but laugh as the back door slid open automatically when Bucky pushed a button. “A minivan?” you asked through giggles. Regardless, you climbed in behind Carol’s seat and buckled up. 

“For hauling the pack around,” he said jokingly. “Don’t knock it until you try it.” He reached back and pressed a button on the ceiling, revealing a little screen. “I’d like to see your car do this.”

“You know what? You’re absolutely right,” you amended. “I take it back. This is cool as hell.”

“Thank you,” he said with a laugh. “Ready, kids?”

“You know it,” Carol said.

Bucky pulled out a pair of aviator sunglasses and slid them on, looking so dorky it made your heart flutter. “Let’s drive,” he said in a forced gravel before he pulled out of the parking space and started on the road to the Bartons’ house. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy halloween guys!!


	11. Chapter 11

Man, what was it with these people and dirt roads? Bucky’s minivan trundled down a dirt road towards a large farmhouse that was squandered on a sizable piece of land. You unbuckled and got on your knees so you could be between Bucky and Carol, who were chatting away like old friends. “Holy cow, this is where they live?” you asked in awe. 

“Oh, yeah,” Bucky said, peering through the now dusty windshield. “Nice, right? Clint built it.”

“Clint built it?” you repeated in a high pitched voice. 

“Mhm,” he confirmed, swerving carefully off the dirt path to park in front of the house near two other cars. 

Speak of the devil, Clint stepped onto the porch and jogged down the steps to meet you. He embraced Bucky as soon as he was out of the car. “Thanks for coming, Buck,” said Clint. He peered around Bucky to see you and Carol walking to join them. “Man, you just keep rounding up more pups,” he murmured to Bucky with a laugh. “Welcome, (Y/N). I’m so glad you’re here.” He embraced you as well, making you laugh. 

“Hi, Clint. This is my best friend, Carol,” you said as you pulled away, gesturing to Carol. 

She stuck her hand out for him to shake and smiled at him. “Howdy, Mr. Barton,” greeted Carol. 

“Call me Clint,” he said, gladly shaking her hand. “Come on in, everybody. Laura’s just waking up from a nap with the baby. She’ll be down in a bit.” He jogged back up the steps and into the house, leaving you all to share looks before following him. 

Steve and Scott stood from the floor when you entered. Two small children hopped up as well, the little girl rushing towards her father. “Hey,” Clint said with a laugh, catching her before she could topple him over. “Slow down there, Lila. Say hi to your Uncle Buck.”

“Hi, Uncle Bucky,” Lila said dutifully. She held her arms out, the classic sign that she wanted to be picked up.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Bucky greeted cheerfully, scooping up the delighted little girl. “I want you to meet my new friends.” He held her carefully on his hip and turned towards you and Carol. Lila fixed her big brown eyes on you, sending a pang through your heart. “Lila, this is (Y/N) and Carol.”

“Hi, Lila,” Carol said. “I’m Carol.”

Lila’s eyes flicked to Carol for a brief moment and then returned to you. You both were transfixed by each other for a second before you spoke. “It’s very nice to meet you, Lila,” you told her, and she smiled. Oh, you were done for. You would die for this little girl. 

“Hi,” she said. When Bucky set her down, she went to hide behind her father, still staring at you. 

“I think she likes you,” Bucky murmured in your ear. 

You grinned and looked up at him. “You think so?” 

He nodded. 

Clint gestured for his son, who was still standing over by Scott and Steve. “Cooper, c’mere,” he beckoned. “He’s shy,” he said to you and Carol in a hushed tone. 

“That’s alright,” you said. “He doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to. I understand being shy.”

Cooper remained by the other men, watching you and Carol warily. You gave him a little wave, hoping it would help. He waved back, and it made you smile. 

The stairs creaked as Laura descended, a bundle of blankets in her arms. She looked weary, but otherwise good. “Laura,” you greeted, exhaling with relief. “How are you? Can I help you?” You went to her side immediately. 

She laughed. “I’m good,” she said warmly. Laura jutted her chin towards Carol. “Introduce me to your friend.” 

“Oh, this is Carol,” you said, gesturing for Carol to come closer. 

Laura handed the baby off to her husband and held her hand out for Carol to shake. 

“Is everyone introduced now?” you asked. 

“Uh, not quite,” Steve piped up. He and Scott surged forward and greeted Carol as well. Names were swapped, and then, yes, everyone was introduced. 

“Great,” Bucky said with a clap of his hands. “I wanna see the baby.”

Laura laughed and took Nathaniel back from Clint before offering him to Bucky. The baby was so sweet looking in his bundle of blankets, only his chubby little face visible. “Oh my god,” Bucky marveled. 

You pressed against his side so you could see the baby better. “He looks great, Laura,” you cooed. 

“Almost makes you want one, doesn’t it?” Carol asked from Bucky’s other side. 

You looked up to see her giving you a very pointed look, and you flushed and looked away, mumbling an affirmative. 

Bucky shifted the baby and passed him back to Laura. “What a great kid,” he said. 

Cooper, now seemingly annoyed with the lack of attention, came over to join the group in staring at his younger brother. He looked sort of sulky, so you bent down and offered him your hand. “Hi, Cooper. I’m (Y/N),” you said, introducing yourself to the child. 

“Hi,” he said quietly, shaking the offered hand.

“I like your shirt,” you said, gesturing to his shirt, which was yellow with a green dinosaur on it. “Yellow is my favorite color.”

“Really?” he asked, brightening. “I like it, too. Do you want to see my legos? I have a bunch.”

“Cooper, I would love to see your legos,” you said honestly, standing up straight so you could follow him into the living room. You paid close attention as he showed you models he was in the process of completing as well as some of the bins of free floating legos he had. “I’m very impressed,” you told him as he showed you a completed lego x-wing. “Do you like Star Wars?”

“I love Star Wars,” Cooper chirped. “I’m going to be Luke Skywalker for Halloween this year!”

“Really? He’s, like, my favorite character,” you said with a grin. 

“You know,” Bucky piped up as he joined you and Cooper in the living room. “I’ve had people tell me I look just like him.”

Cooper stared hard at Bucky in consideration before shaking his head. “I don’t think so, Uncle Bucky,” he said. 

“Yeah,” you agreed, looking him over as well. “You’re too buff to be Luke.”

Bucky put his hand on his chest and hung his head. “But I’m missing the hand and everything,” he lamented, making both you and Cooper laugh. 

“Wrong hand, Bucky,” you said sympathetically, patting his arm. “Nice try, though.”

“I think you look more like Kylo Ren,” Cooper offered. “Your hair is long like his.”

Bucky didn’t seem to like that. “He’s a villain,” he said with distaste. 

“More like morally grey,” you debated.

Bucky furrowed his eyebrows and gave you a look as if to say, ‘really?’. “(Y/N), he’s a fascist.”

You held up your hands in surrender. “But he’s so handsome,” you refuted weakly. 

Both Bucky and Cooper rolled their eyes, sharing a look. 

“Alright,” you sighed. “I can see when I’m beat. I’m going to see how Carol is doing.”

Carol, as it turned out, was doing very well. She and Steve were having a rousing discussion about the military industrial complex, and if the Army or the Air Force treated their veterans worse. Steve seemed to be winning with his points about the Army. Not wanting to get into that, having heard enough of Carol’s ranting to know she could sweep the floor with him if she wanted, you made a 90 degree turn and joined Scott and the Bartons in the kitchen. 

“Hey, (Y/N),” Scott greeted you with a little wave while doing his best to continue supporting Nathaniel in his arms. “How’s it going?”

“Great, Scott, thanks for asking,” you answered. You turned down Clint as he offered you a beverage and stood beside Scott. “You’re pretty good at this.”

Scott smiled. "Thanks. I have a daughter, Cassie, so I guess you could say I’m kind of a pro at this,” he said jokingly. He looked down affectionately at Nathaniel. “It’s been a while since she was this tiny, though.” 

“I didn’t realize you had a kid,” you said. “Do you think she’ll…?”

“Inherit the curse?” Scott filled in. “Nah, I was bitten way after she was born. Only last year, in fact.” He grinned at you. “Y’know, if you join the pack, I won’t be the newbie anymore.” 

You snickered at that and shook your head. “Not very convincing,” you told him. “But I’ll consider it.”

“We really enjoyed being you with this weekend, (Y/N),” Laura said. “I know everyone would welcome you with open arms.”

“Yeah, especially Bucky,” Clint said with a laugh. Laura smacked his chest. “Ow!”

You felt your face heat up and you leaned heavily against the counter, running your hand through your hair. “It’s just a big decision,” you sighed. 

“Commitment issues?” Steve asked as he entered the kitchen. “I get that.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Carol mused, going to stand by your side. “When I asked her out, it took her a month before she accepted, despite the fact that we literally hung out every day.” 

You flushed. “Carol!”

“What?”

Steve looked between the two of you with his head cocked to the side. “Are you…?” he asked, gesturing between the two of you. 

Carol made an ‘x’ with her arms. “Nah,” she said. “We work better as friends. Very good friends.”

You were mortified. Your face felt like it was on fire. At least Bucky wasn’t there to witness your embarrassment. 

Laura looked at you with a mix of pity and understanding. “Relationships are tricky,” she said sagely. 

“Not ours though,” Clint boasted. “Right?”

Laura side-eyed him jokingly, causing him to repeat the question weakly. “Of course not, sweetheart,” she said finally, patting his chest. She winked at you, and just like that the air was clear again, the tension lifted from your chest. 

You exhaled. “I’m gonna go see how Bucky and the kids are doing,” you decided, sidling around the crowd. 

“Let’s start dinner,” Laura said. Soon, the kitchen erupted in a flurry of motion as everyone vied to lend a hand, even Carol. 

You went into the living room and settled on the carpet next to Bucky, who was trying to build along with Cooper and Lila. He showed the structure he was working on. You tilted your head and squinted, trying to figure out what it was. “What a lovely… bridge?” you offered. 

“It’s supposed to be a pirate ship,” Bucky said, pouting. 

“Ohhhh, yes, of course,” you said. “I see it now.” You quickly turned to Cooper, who was working on one of his works in progress, a submarine. “Oh Cooper, that looks wonderful,” you praised. 

You could tell he appreciated the compliment. “Thank you,” he said. “I can build without the instructions.”

“Wow,” you exclaimed, leaning back against the couch. “One day you’ll be one of those master builders that makes the models for Lego.”

Cooper grinned. “I am,” he agreed. “Then maybe Uncle Bucky will be able to build something cool.”

“Hey,” Bucky protested. Pouting harder, he leaned against the couch with you, rolling his head to the side to look at you. “Can you believe this?”

You patted his thigh and gave him a sympathetic look. “Sucks to be roasted by a nine year old,” you told him. “Maybe you just need to get better at building.”

He sighed loudly while Lila and Cooper burst into giggles. “I’d like to see you do better,” Bucky said. 

“Oh, I never claimed to be a good builder,” you mused. “I’ll leave that specific talent to Cooper.” 

“Thank you, (Y/N),” Cooper said, nodding. 

“You bet, bud.” You shot him a finger gun and gave Bucky’s thigh another pat. Lila scooted closer to you and shoved something into your hand. “Oh? What’s this?” You examined the object closer and saw it was lego bricks stacked into the shape of a flower. “Aw, Lila, this is so pretty,” you cooed.

She gave you a big smile and started to work on something else, allowing you to hold onto the flower. You sat happily against the couch and watched Bucky and the kids craft. It was so easy to slip into daydreams, imagining a similar situation with pups of your own. 

Carol sat down next to you, startling you out of your daydream. “What’s with that dreamy smile?” she teased quietly, nudging your arm. 

Your cheeks were aflame. “Uhhhh…” 

“Dinner’s ready!” Carol chirped to the group before giving you a knowing look. “(Y/N), help me set the table.”

You scrambled up and followed her into the dining room, only to see the table was already set. “Carol,” you groaned.

“Let’s do a little recap,” she said, taking you by the shoulders. “First off, these people are great, and the fact that you didn’t let me go with you this weekend is a crime.”

“I—”

“Second, as I’ve already pointed out, you’re enamored with Bucky.”

You flushed, staring at her with your mouth open. “Wha— How can you say that? I hardly know him,” you whispered. 

She shrugged. “I can tell,” she said simply. “Besides, you’re looking at him… affectionately. That’s putting it mildly.”

“Well, don’t sugar coat it for my sake,” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. You could feel a headache coming on. 

“I wasn’t done, by the way. Thirdly, I think I want a baby now??” She glanced over her shoulder, looking into the kitchen where Laura was standing with Nathaniel in her arms. “Can we get one?”

“I’ll think about it,” you mused, peeking around her so you could catch a glimpse of the baby, too. “The kids sure are sweet.” You sighed. 

“Aren’t they?” Bucky interjected, coming up to you and Carol. “Table looks great, guys.”

Carol gave you a very pointed look before turning to Bucky with a grin. “Thanks,” she said, “(Y/N) can be very neat when she feels like it.”

You barked out a laugh, covering your mouth with your hand when they both looked at you. “Sorry, I just— That’s bullshit and you know it.” You looked up at Bucky. “My natural state is messy.”

“Doesn’t bother me,” he said simply, shrugging his shoulders. “Will you sit next to me?” He gestured to the table.

“I was gonna sit beside Carol—”

“You have two sides,” Carol reminded you, rolling her eyes. She wrapped an arm around your shoulders and looked at Bucky with a grin. “(Y/N) would love to sit by you. Let’s get settled before everyone else does.” She steered you towards the table and plopped you into a chair, taking the one on your left while Bucky settled in the chair on your right. Gradually, everyone else streamed in and took seats, and dinner began. 

You were in a daze for most of it, trying to ignore your baby fever while also remaining appropriately present and respondent. By the time it was done, you were drained, but the Bartons insisted everyone stick around to watch a movie. You all piled into the living room. You got a seat on the couch, but it was crowded, and once again you found yourself sandwiched between Bucky and Carol. Being close to Carol wasn’t anything new, but you had yet to be so close to Bucky in a situation that didn’t involve you half asleep. You were wide awake now, keenly aware of the way his thigh pressed against yours and his arm slung around the back of the couch, so close to your shoulders, you could feel the warmth radiating off him. 

Carol shifted, knocking into your shoulder as she laughed at something Steve said. As a result, you were pushed into Bucky’s side, your hand flying out to save yourself. Reflexively, Bucky’s arm curled around you, trying to keep you stable. You found yourself looking up at him with your hand against his chest, wrapped in his arms. He smiled softly, making your cheeks blaze with a blush. You took a breath, your brain stalling as your body had an agenda of its own and made you curl a little closer to him, clutching his shirt. 

When your brain kicked back into gear, you hastily stood from the couch, ignoring the way Bucky temporarily reached out for you. “I’m going outside for some fresh air,” you announced in a mumble before rushing outside. The screen door banged loudly as you rocketed down the steps into the yard. The waning moon illuminated the expansive grounds, all the way to the forest edge that lined the property. 

You took a deep breath, letting cold air fill your lungs. You ran your hands through your hair and shut your eyes, letting the moonlight wash over you. From behind you, you could hear the screen door swing shut again, albeit softer this time. You turned to see Bucky slowly making his way down the steps towards you, his hands in his pockets. You were both silent as he met up with you, his head tilting up to the sky. The moonlight highlighted his features, and for a moment it looked as if maybe he were formed from the stuff. 

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, still looking up. 

You blinked in surprise. “What are you sorry for?” you asked, genuinely curious. “You haven’t done anything wrong.” 

He nodded, finally looking at you. “I have,” said Bucky. “I pushed you too fast. I shouldn’t have asked you to come here.”

You shifted uncomfortably. “Do you not want me here?” you asked, unable to stop your insecurities from coming through. 

“No,” he said quickly, stepping close enough that he was nearly touching you, but not quite. “No, of course I want you here. God, that’s like, the last reason I would say that.” He cleared his throat. “I just mean that you seem really uncomfortable, and I’m sorry for asking you to engage so closely with the pack. You’re still deciding.” At your continued silence, Bucky spoke to fill the space, no longer looking at you. “Obviously I want you here,” he said quietly. “I like you. I like being with you.”

You chewed on the edge of your thumb’s cuticle. “You do?” you asked quietly. 

Bucky laughed at that. “I thought that was obvious,” he mused. 

You wrapped your arms around yourself, looking towards the house. “It’s okay,” you said. “I like being with you, too. And the pack. I just— It’s all a little overwhelming, and I’m not…” You hesitated. “I have a hard time with physical… stuff. Intimacy. Whatever. Especially since—” Your hand instinctively went to your shoulder, rubbing the scar that was under your top. 

“You were bitten,” Bucky finished. “I get that completely.” 

You looked up at him, considering him as you had the first night you met. Crazy to think that had only been about a week ago. It felt like a lifetime. “But,” you continued, “I don’t mind it, when you touch me.” You swallowed hard, watching as his eyes brightened. “It’s… Nice.” 

“Really?” he asked softly.

You nodded. “It’s just—” You let out a frustrated half-laugh. “Carol can be such a pain in my ass,” you groaned, running your hand through your hair, pushing it back from your forehead. “I like you, Bucky. I really do, but I need time. I need time to adjust and to get used to all of—” You waved your hands around. “This. The pack. You. Being touched again by someone who isn’t Carol. I’ve never had this sort of thing. Carol’s the only person I’ve had in my life for a long time.” 

“She’s very important to you,” he stated. 

“Of course she is,” you sighed, glancing towards the house again. “She’s my best friend.”

“I get that,” Bucky said quietly. “That’s how Steve is for me.”

You laughed weakly. “They’re too similar for our own good, I can already tell. They’re going to be disastrous every time we hang out.”

“Chaos twins,” he agreed, smiling. You looked at each other and laughed. 

“Thanks, Bucky,” you said. You reached out and touched his arm for a brief moment. “I needed that.”

“Of course, (Y/N). You know you can talk to me about anything,” he said earnestly, catching your hand before it could fall back to your side. He gave it a little squeeze before he let go again. “Let’s go finish the movie, and then I’ll take you home, okay?”

“Yeah,” you said with a soft smile. “Okay.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that I've gotten out most of the chapters I've already written, and Halloween has passed, I'm going to try (again, try being the key word here) to update weekly. We'll see how that goes. The response to this fic has been more than I could ever hope for, and I'm so thankful for all of you that have been reading every update and commenting. It literally means the world to me, and makes me want to keep writing. Thank you so much! Love y'all!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: mildly spicy 👀  
> warnings for sex dreams and masturbation

_ “That’s it, doll. Just like that.” _

_ You arched against him, feeling the way his heaving chest pressed against yours. Sweat rolled down his back, following the tracks you carved with your nails. You moaned as he thrusted steadily into you, moving you against the soft fabric of the sheets. Your eyes fluttered open, and you saw he was watching you with lidded eyes, his mouth slightly open. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, his voice rough with arousal.  _

_ “Bucky, I—” _

_ “Are you gonna cum for me, (Y/N)?” he asked, lowering his head so his mouth was near your ear. “You’re being so good for me.”  _

_ You gasped, bucking up to meet his thrust. “Alpha—”  _

You woke up with a start, gasping as your heart thudded in your chest. You were covered in a thin sheet of sweat. When you looked around, you saw your bed was empty. You were alone. It had been a dream. You covered your mouth, your eyes widening. Not you having sex dreams about Bucky and calling him Alpha. “Oh shit,” you sighed. 

You looked at your alarm clock and groaned. There were still three hours before your shift. You couldn’t go back to sleep now. You couldn’t risk having another dream like that. Instead, you dragged yourself out of bed and towards your shower. You ran the water cold and got in, only barely remembering to shuck off your pajamas. The cold was harsh, but it cleared your head and calmed down your body. Eventually, you switched to a warmer temperature to ensure you didn;t get hypothermia, and actually went about washing yourself. The simplicity of the task gave you too much time to think. You were tired of thinking. You wished you could have no thoughts, head empty. 

After you were sufficiently clean, you climbed out of the shower, wrapped yourself in a towel, and went to make yourself breakfast, actually putting effort into the meal for once. As you cooked, you thought back to the dream. It had felt so vivid. You could still smell him, the scent comforting and intoxicating all at once. It was torture. You were so distracted, you nearly burnt your bacon. You cursed at yourself and plated your food, going to sit in the living room to eat. You ate without tasting, staring at the black screen of your turned-off television. Man, you were spaced out. You had to figure out some way to get it together before work. 

Almost without thinking, you rubbed your thighs together. Your brain kept going back to the dream anyway, you supposed there wouldn’t be much harm in indulging the fantasy, right?

You put your empty plate in the sink and went to your room, tossing away your towel and laying out on your bed. Your heart thud wildly in your chest as you slowly slipped your hand between your legs. As you shut your eyes, you admonished yourself. You were being silly. There was literally no reason for you to be so nervous. 

You began to rub your clit in slow, even circles, exhaling shakily. Your brain was almost eager to provide you with the images your subconscious had created. It was too easy to picture Bucky, now that you’d practically seen him naked. Oh yes, though you couldn’t remember much from that night, you could remember him stripping in front of you. You ached to trace the scars on his torso with your tongue, to memorize every mark on him. You let yourself drift into the fantasy deeper, imagining his hands gliding over your body, taking the place of yours. You shakily slipped a finger inside yourself, wishing it was his. You added another and crooked your fingers, gasping as your fingertips dragged against your g-spot. “Bucky,” you breathed softly, arching into your own touch. 

Your phone rang, startling you. You groaned and pulled your hand away from yourself, wiping it on the bedspread before you reached to pick up your phone. You swallowed when you saw who it was. 

“H-Hi, Bucky,” you said as you answered, clearing your throat to try and sound less breathy. 

“Hey, did I wake you up?” he asked brightly.

“No,” you assured him. “I woke up about an hour ago.”

“Oh, good. Listen, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to hang out today?”

“I have work,” you said flatly.

“After work, then.”

You thought about it, your mind drifting back to your dream. “I’m not sure,” you said weakly. “I didn’t sleep great last night.”

“We can just chill,” he said. “I could come over, if you want. You don’t even have to leave your apartment. I’ll pick up a pizza.”

You perked up at his offer. “Well, I can’t say no to pizza,” you murmured. “Uh, yeah, okay. You can come over at like 6.” 

“I’ll be there,” said Bucky. “See you then.”

“See you,” you said before hitting the end call button. You groaned as you laid back against your pillows. There was no way this was going to go well. 

* * *

“There’s no way this is going to go well,” you said to Carol over the phone as you walked to your car. 

“What are you talking about?” she exclaimed. “It’ll be great. He’s already made it clear you’re in control of what happens. There’s nothing to worry about.” 

“What if—” You groaned. “I don’t know. Nevermind.”

“No, what? What if… what?”

“What if I decide I want to give him a kiss?” you murmured. 

Carol laughed. “Do you want to give him a kiss?”

“I don’t know! Maybe!” 

“Then give him a kiss,” she mused. You knew her well enough to know she was shaking her head at you. “Honestly, for someone who is so smart, you’re stupid as hell.”

“I know,” you said miserably, dragging your hand down your face. “I know!” you repeated, yelling up at the sky. “I just can’t figure out how to act around him. What if a, like, primal, feral part of my brain takes over and I accidentally jump his bones?”

Carol laughed, no, she guffawed. “How do you accidentally have sex with someone?” she asked in a shrill voice through her laughter. 

“I don’t know, but I feel like I would be the one to do it.”

“Jesus, kid,” sighed Carol. “You should see a therapist or something. Your anxiety is something else.” 

As if you didn’t know. “Thanks, Carol,” you mumbled. “I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Let me know how the date goes!”

“Yep.” You said goodbye, waited for her response, and then hung up. You still had about an hour or so before Bucky would show up to your house. You got in your car and rested your head against the steering wheel for a moment. You inhaled deeply, and then slowly exhaled. Carol was right. It would be fine. Whatever happened, it would be alright. Bucky was handsome and nice. You liked him. He knew you were a werewolf, and he just so happened to be one too. There were no cons. You just had to… loosen up. 

You straightened in your seat, filled with determination. You started your car and pulled from the hospital parking lot. You were going on a date with Bucky, and you were going to enjoy yourself, whether you wanted to or not. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're definitely seeing a shift in reader's attitude towards Bucky 👀 Hope y'all enjoy!!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the playlist i mention later on, i will also link it in the text  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7lOD1JH5HhxvWglPqAzdTi

You got home and took a shower, rinsing off any hospital residue that may have stuck to you. You dried your hair to the best of your ability, and stood in front of your closet. What were you supposed to wear? Something comfortable? You were in your home, afterall. Something sexy? It was technically a date, you guessed. Did you have anything that combined sexy and comfortable?

You decided on a pair of shorts, something out of your usual comfort zone that could be construed as sexy, and a slightly oversized hoodie, your most comfortable item of clothing. After you were dressed, you quickly picked up your apartment as much as you could, straightening pillows and wiping down surfaces. You even swept the kitchen floor. Once you felt your cleaning was sufficient, you sunk into the couch to wait. 

You didn’t have to wait long. Bucky showed up five minutes before six, with pizza in hand and an apologetic smile on his face. “I hope you don’t mind that I’m early,” he said, entering as soon as you allowed him to. He set the pizza box on the living room table, allowing you to get a good look at him. He was dressed in jeans and the bomber jacket you had met him in. When he shucked off his jacket, he revealed a tight, light blue henley that conformed to his muscles like cling wrap. He was achingly beautiful. Bucky’s hair appeared to be damp, as well. 

“Did you shower, too?” you asked, gesturing to your own, still wet, hair. 

He turned to you and flushed, pushing his hair out of his face. It was slightly curly when it was wet. “Yeah, I had work today, too,” he filled in. “Had to wash off the hospital smell.”

You nodded sympathetically. “I know what you mean.” You pointed your thumb towards the kitchen. “Want a drink?” you asked. 

“Just water is fine, thanks,” he said. He was still standing, awkwardly, with his hands shoved in his pockets. 

“You can sit down, if you want.”

“Oh!” Bucky looked at the couch like he hadn’t even considered the idea. “Right. Thanks.” He cleared his throat and took a seat, looking mildly uncomfortable. 

You shook your head as he entered the kitchen. Your premonitions were dangerously close to coming true. You poured a glass of water for Bucky, and one for yourself as well, returning to the couch with both in your hand. As you handed him the glass, his fingers brushed lightly over yours, making your cheeks heat up. Silly. You shouldn’t have been so flustered by an accidental touch. “So, um, did you want to do something specific, or…?”

Bucky took a sip of his water, taking his sweet time to answer. “It’s your house,” he said finally. “I just wanted to see you.” 

Your cheeks got even hotter and you looked away, gulping down water to avoid saying anything. “Thanks,” you muttered. “That’s nice.”

“We could watch a movie,” he suggested. “You said you loved movies.”

You nodded. “I do.” You picked up the remote control from the coffee table and turned on your TV, clicking on the Netflix app so you could scroll for a bit. As the gentle click of switching titles filled the air, you glanced at him. Bucky seemed to be trying to look at you with the same not-so-subtle glance you were giving him. You both cracked up and started laughing. “Is this awkward?” you asked. 

“No,” Bucky said, then he took a moment to think about it. “Yes. Maybe? I don’t know."

“You really covered all the bases there, Buck,” you said dryly.

Bucky laughed again. “I think it’s only awkward because we’re nervous,” he mused. 

“Probably,” you agreed. You handed him the remote. “You pick something. I’m gonna have some pizza.” You cracked open the box and sighed contentedly as the fresh doughy smell wafted towards your nose. “Pizza,” you sighed dreamily. 

Bucky snickered, flipping through the titles just as you had. “Glad to know I bought correctly.” 

“Hard to go wrong by pepperoni,” you countered. You scooped up a slice and settled back onto the couch. “Ooh!” you called out as Bucky scrolled over Back to the Future. “That one, that one!”

“You’ve got great taste, doll,” Bucky said as he clicked on the film. He grabbed a slice of pizza as well and spread out, his free arm resting along the back of the couch. You scooted a little closer to him, letting his hand brush against your shoulder. He didn’t even flinch, just smiled and took a bite of his pizza. 

You chewed on your pizza thoughtfully as Marty McFly went through his time shenanigans with only mild terror. “Do you think Marty has an oedipal complex?” you asked during the scene where he meets his young mother for the first time. 

Bucky choked on his pizza. “No?” he said after a coughing fit. “He’s actively trying NOT to fuck his mother.” He gestured to the screen where Marty was scrambling away from his mother. “Look at him.”

“I dunno, I mean. He definitely thinks she’s hot.”

“That? Doesn’t mean he has an oedipal complex??”

“It’s his mom!”

“Well I know that, and you know that—”

“And  _ he  _ knows that,” you scoffed while trying to hold back your laughter. 

Bucky sighed, taking his arm from behind you so he could rub his eyes. “I know,” he said. “But his mom doesn’t.”

You shook your head and let your laughter loose. “I don’t think that makes it better, Bucky,” you said through your laughter. 

“No,” he sighed. “Maybe not.” You looked up at him. The smile he gave you was so genuine and warm that it made your heart start to thunder in your chest. You swallowed hard. “Are you okay?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow. 

“I’m fine,” you said weakly. You cleared your throat and nodded, looking back towards the screen. He was too fucking handsome, you couldn’t deal with this right now. “Just, um, I—” You cut yourself off, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth. 

“Yes?” He leaned a little closer, raising both eyebrows. “You what?” he asked, obviously teasing you. 

You looked at him again, unable to help the little sigh that left you. “I think you have a beautiful smile,” you told him softly. 

Bucky dropped the teasing attitude immediately, his cheeks staining pink as his smile turned shy. He looked away from you, rubbing the back of his neck. “Ah,” said Bucky, soft with understanding. “Thank you, (Y/N). I think your smile is beautiful too.”

What was it about having your smile complimented that made you have to smile? It was as if you were both trying to prove the other’s point, both of you smiling shyly down at the pizza. “Thanks,” you said softly. You ate the rest of your pizza slice before it could get too cold. 

“Can I tell you something?” he asked. 

“Sure,” you said, looking back up at him. 

“I had a dream about you last night.”

You stiffened, your eyes widening. “Wh—? Did you really?” you asked, turning to face him fully. “Cause I had a dream about you, too.”

“Really?” he asked with a laugh. “That’s crazy! What happened in your dream?”

Your cheeks warmed immediately and your brain stalled. You took another bite of your pizza to give yourself time to think. “I, um, don’t really remember,” you lied weakly. “I just know you were there.” You waved the question away. “But nevermind that. What happened in your dream?”

He seemed flustered as well. “We danced,” Bucky said softly. 

You softened. “Like, slow dancing?”

He nodded. “It was nice,” he mused. 

“What song was playing?”

He shrugged. “I dunno, something from the 60’s I think.” He started to hum a tune that sounded like ‘Put Your Head On My Shoulder’ by Paul Anaka. “Something like that.” 

“Did you—” You swallowed hard, unable to believe what you were about to ask him. “Do you… want to? Dance with me?” 

Bucky regarded you for a moment. “Are you serious?” he asked. 

You swallowed hard. “Yeah,” you said. 

Bucky was up in less than a millisecond, offering you his hand and pulling you from the couch once you took it. 

“Hold on,” you said through laughter, leaning down to pause the movie. You pulled out your phone, scrolling through your playlists until you found one labelled [‘i’m sad and also vintage’](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7lOD1JH5HhxvWglPqAzdTi). “Here we go. We need music if we’re gonna dance, right?” 

“You’re absolutely right, doll,” Bucky agreed. As soon as you set your phone down on the table, ‘Blue Moon’ by Sha Na Na playing through the speaker, he swept you into his arms, leading you towards the kitchen where there was more space to dance. Bucky moved you around gracefully, one hand on your waist and the other placed in yours. You rested your free hand on his shoulder and looked up at him. Bucky was obviously a skilled dancer, and you were… less so. 

“Where’d you learn to dance like this?” you asked as you swayed with him. 

“S’easy,” he said flippantly. “I used to do ballroom dancing as a kid.”

“You’re bullshitting me,” you said flatly. 

“I am,” Bucky admitted with a grin. “But I had to learn to dance for my sister Rebecca’s bat mitzvah.”

You smiled back at him, and allowed him to spin you slowly. “That’s really sweet.” 

Bucky pulled you back against him, holding you closer than before. “I wish I could go back and assure whiny 15 year old me that it would all be worth it,” he said with a soft laugh. 

“I reckon he’d still be pissy about it,” you replied, laughing as well. Bucky turned you in a way that made you trip over your own foot, and you stumbled into his chest, catching yourself by placing your hands on his torso. Both of Bucky’s hands went to your waist to catch you. “Sorry,” you mumbled, looking down. 

“My fault,” he replied, stilling. He didn’t move his hands, and neither did you. When you looked up at him, you found him staring at you. 

“What is it?”

“I probably shouldn’t ask,” he said softly. 

You licked your dry lips, not missing the way his eyes flickered down to watch. “Ask,” you ordered, almost pleading. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

You could feel butterflies flutter in your stomach, aided by your rising heart rate. “Yes,” you breathed. 

Bucky lowered his head slowly, giving you plenty of time to pull away, until his lips touched yours. Though his kiss was soft, his hands tightened their grip on your waist. Bucky’s lips were just as soft as they looked, and so warm that they set your body aflame. It was as if everything clicked into place. You were meant to be here, in Bucky’s arms, with his kiss against your lips. 

When he pulled away from you, you looked up at him in a haze, a gentle sigh pulled from your lungs. “Thank you,” you murmured, and that made him laugh. 

“I think I ought to be thanking you,” he mused, his voice a deep rumble. 

You ached to rest your head against his chest, and for once you didn’t resist your own urges. You could feel the steady thump of his heart, just under your ear, and he pulled you a little closer, enclosing you in an embrace. For the first time in a long time, you felt secure. You two stood like that for a while, until your playlist started to repeat. You separated from him then, though you regretted it, and went back to the couch. “We should finish the movie,” you suggested as you silenced your phone. 

“Sounds good to me.” He plopped down next to you, seeming a little unsure. When he placed his arm on the back of the couch again, you sidled up beside him, taking the initiative to tuck yourself against his side. Bucky grinned and pressed a kiss against your temple. “I like you a lot, (Y/N),” he said softly. 

“I like you, too, Bucky,” you sighed. You’d deal with the aftermath later when you were alone. For now, it was enough to be by his side. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god i can't keep up slow burn 😳 i, for one, am glad reader is finally letting down her guard a little
> 
> hope y'all enjoy! sorry for the late update


	14. Chapter 14

You winced at Carol’s scream resonating through the speaker of your phone. “Please calm down,” you pleaded. 

“Calm down?” she repeated. “How can I calm down? This is the best thing that’s happened since… since…” 

You dragged your hand down your face. “Since what, Carol?” you asked tiredly. 

“Since the moon landing, probably!”

You snorted and shut your eyes. “Your gauge for celebration is the moon landing?” you asked dryly.

“Shut up, I couldn’t think of anything,” she whined.

“Uh-huh. Well, I’m glad you’re excited about it.”

“And you aren’t?”

You sighed and shifted positions in your chair, crossing one leg over the other. You were sitting in your kitchen. Bucky had just left. You knew Carol would have been pissed if you hadn’t called her right away to relay the news. “I didn’t say that,” you mumbled. “It’s just… a lot.”

“I know,” Carol said empathetically, switching to good friend mode. “And that’s okay. I get it, it’s a big shift in the relationship, and it’s only been like two weeks since you met him, but you liked him anyway, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And you wanted to kiss him?”

“Yes,” you admitted with a groan. “I mean, we slow-danced for fuck’s sake.”

“Which is mad romantic, by the way,” Carol said. 

You snorted and leaned back in your chair, running your hand through your hair. “Yeah, he’s like that I guess.”

“Love that for you.”

“I’m gonna kill you,” you threatened weakly. 

Carol laughed. “If you killed me, who would be here to talk you down from the crisis you were about to dip into because you kissed a boy?”

Her playful question made you groan. You hated how close she was to the truth. “I’m not going into crisis because I kissed a boy,” you protested. “I’ve kissed plenty of boys before. And girls. People.” 

“Okay, we get it, we stan a bisexual queen,” she teased. 

“If you ever say that again, I’m going to—”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. When are you going to see him again?” she asked, interrupting you.

You deflated a little. “I’m not sure,” you admitted. “We didn’t plan ahead. He kissed me at the door before he left though, so I take that as a good sign.”

“Rightly so,” Carol agreed sagely. 

“And he texted me when he got home.”

“Oh, he loves you.”

“Shut up,” you said in a high pitched tone, trying to ignore the giddiness that raced through your system. “He’s just nice.”

“Nothing wrong with that, if that’s the case,” Carol said. “But he’s in love with you.”

“Goodbye, Carol.”

“Wait,” she said through laughter. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop. I’m sorry for teasing. Listen, maybe you should be the one to take the lead for the next date,” suggested Carol. “Maybe ask him out to the farmer’s market on Saturday?”

You were stunned. Before you were bitten, you and Carol went to the farmer’s market every weekend. “But,” you managed. “That’s our thing!”

“I know,” she said soothingly, “But it’ll be so nice this weekend, and I just thought—”

“I dunno, Carol, this is a big decision,” you fretted. 

“Just think about it, okay? And don’t freak. He won’t think it’s a big deal unless you make it one. Just go, look at fruit, and hold his hand or whatever. No stressing,” she ordered. 

“An impossible task,” you grumbled. “But, I’ll do my best.”

“Let me know how it goes, okay?”

“Okay. Love you. Bye,” you signed off. You waited for her to say it back before you hung up, placing your phone on the table and your head in your hands. The problem wasn’t that you thought Bucky would say no. It was the opposite, actually. You were concerned about what to do when he said yes.

May as well get it over with. You pressed Bucky’s contact info and dialed his number. He picked up within one ring. “Hi, Bucky,” you greeted. 

“Hey, (Y/N)! What’s up?” he greeted jovially in return. 

“I was wondering if you wanted to go to the Farmer’s market with me on Saturday?” You swallowed hard. “Like, as a date,” you added softly. 

You could hear his smile through the phone. “I would love that,” he said. His voice was softer then, soothing. Damn him, he already knew your anxiety triggers. 

“Great,” you said brightly. “I, um, can pick you up this time, if you want.” 

“Perfect. You’ll get to meet Sam!”   


“Oh, I—”

“Don’t worry about it. We live together when I’m not at the cabin. It’ll just be a little meet and greet, nothing big, okay?”

You mulled it over. At least he warned you. “Yeah,” you sighed. “Okay. That works for me. I’ll see you Saturday, 8 AM.”

“Saturday,” he confirmed. “8 AM. Looking forward to it.”

Despite yourself, you smiled. “Yeah,” you agreed. “Me too. Bye, Buck.”

“Talk to you later.”

You hung up and set your phone down, rubbing your cheek. 

Okay. 

Okay?

“Okay,” you sighed aloud. “Fine. I guess I’m dating Bucky now.” All that was left to do was make peace with that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all don't mind dialogue heavy chapters, it's what I'm best at. 😅 This is more of a transition chapter than anything. The next few chapters will introduce a whole mess of new characters, and I am, frankly, hyped as hell. Hope y'all enjoy!


	15. Chapter 15

“Miss (L/N)!”

You turned to see Peter, one of the highschool students that volunteered at the hospital, barreling towards you, holding something above his head. “Yes, Mr. Parker?” you asked as he skidded to a stop in front of you. Peter was a sweet kid, a little overenthusiastic, but well-meaning, and he was a hard worker. He was always hovering around the nurses’ station to see if there was anything he could help with. 

“Sorry to bother you, it’s just, you forgot your badge,” he panted. 

Your hand flew to your chest, only to find your badge was indeed missing, before you took the offered badge. “Thank you, Peter,” you said earnestly. “I definitely need that.”

“I figured,” he said with a grin. 

“Speaking of, do you need a ride?” You gestured towards the parking lot that laid just beyond the window. 

“No thank you, ma’am,” he said brightly. “I walk home. My Aunt May only lives a couple blocks away.” 

You furrowed your eyebrows slightly, but let it go. “Okay, well, be careful, yeah?”

Peter nodded quickly. “You bet. See you next week, Miss (L/N)!” he announced as he waved before turning and hurrying down the hallway. 

You waved in return and smiled to yourself. He was a good kid. You continued on your way to the parking lot, heaving a soft sigh. It was Friday. Tomorrow morning was your much anticipated date with Bucky.

* * *

You were awake before your alarm clock went off at 7 AM. You stared at your ceiling, waiting for the opening tunes of your alarm, completely still and soaking in the light leaking through your blinds. It was a beautiful day; no chance of the market being rained out. You stopped your alarm just as it started. Groaning, you rubbed your eyes and slid out of bed, grabbing your phone as you trudged to the bathroom. To hype yourself up, you put on your favorite playlist. Your reflection stared blankly back at you as you stood in front of the mirror, your hands braced on the sink. “Okay,” you exhaled. “You got this, kid.” 

You jumped at your phone trilling, informing you of a text message. Your screen lit up with a text from Carol, almost word for word what you just said to yourself, only it was followed by multiple heart and smiley emojis. You grinned, despite your nerves. Carol knew you too well. 

You washed your face, put on deodorant and perfume, and brushed your teeth. You eyed your hair in the mirror and gave it a light shake with your fingers; you figured it was about as tame as it was going to get. You got dressed, picking a plaid oversized button-up and a pair of skinny jeans, unbuttoning the top couple of buttons on the shirt so there was a tasteful glimpse of cleavage. Satisfied with your reflection, you glanced at your phone. It looked like you would be right on time, if not a little early. Well. At least you didn’t have to tack on tardiness to your list of anxieties. 

You grabbed your bag, ensuring you had your keys, phone, and wallet before you left, and locked up your apartment. As soon as you got in your car, you turned on some tunes and pulled up the address Bucky sent you on your gps app. Sam’s place was not far from yours, maybe 15 minutes or so. You took a deep breath, then reversed out of your parking spot and drove to Sam’s. 

The apartment complex Sam lived in was one of those old, brown, brick covered ones, with little patios and enough sidewalks to choke a horse. You parked near what you assumed was his building and ascended the three flights of stairs it took to get to his apartment. You checked your texts one more time to ensure you had the right unit, and knocked on the door. 

You barely had to wait before the door was thrown open, revealing a handsome man with dark skin and a smile that immediately charmed you. He was dressed for exercise in a sweatshirt and basketball shorts. From behind him, you could hear Bucky shouting. “You must be (Y/N),” the man said. 

“And you must be Sam,” you replied, trying not to let your nerves show. You stuck out your hand, which he readily took in his and shook. “Bucky’s told me a lot about you.”

“Nothing too bad, I hope,” he said with a laugh. “Do you wanna come in? Barnes is almost ready.” 

Rolling with the punches was never something you were known for, but Sam’s joviality certainly made it easier. “Sure,” you said brightly. 

Sam moved aside to let you in, and you walked into what you could only describe as a bachelor’s pad. There was a comfy looking leather couch, with no pillows, and a coffee table littered with beer bottles and an empty pizza box. A flat screen TV played a football game with the sound off. A recliner was situated by the patio door with its foot rest popped up, and Sam kicked it closed. There was a little kitchen that was similar to your own, and two doors, one of which was open. The open door showed a surprisingly neat bedroom with the bed made and spartan-esque white walls. You could also see a desk with a complex computer setup. “Sorry for the mess,” Sam apologized, scooping up the pizza box. “You can take a seat if you want.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” you told him. You stayed standing despite his invitation to sit down, leaning against the wall near the kitchen entrance. You watched him putter around, cleaning up; it didn’t take long. When he was done, he leaned against the kitchen counter by the sink and crossed his arms over his chest, looking at you in return. You cleared your throat. “So, um, Bucky told me you work at the veterans’ hospital?” you asked. 

“That’s right,” Sam confirmed. “Been working there for, oh, about 4 years now?” He nodded to himself. “Yeah, that sounds right.”

“That’s really cool,” you said earnestly. “I really admire the effort you guys put in to aid veterans. It’s important.”

“Did you serve?” Sam asked, his head tilted slightly to the side. 

You laughed lightly. “No, um, I’m not tough enough for that, but my best friend Carol was in the air force, and well, you know.” You gestured towards the room you assumed Bucky was in. “Bucky.” 

Sam smiled, looking down for a moment. “I do,” he said with a soft laugh. “Well, thank you, (Y/N).”

“Of course.” You looked up as the other door opened and Bucky exited, smiling as soon as he saw you. 

“Hey, (Y/N),” he greeted softly. Bucky crossed over to you and pressed a soft kiss to your temple, making your face heat up. “You guys getting along okay?”

“Oh yeah,” Sam answered for you. “(Y/N)’s great.”

You flushed further, unable to look at either of them. “Thanks, Sam,” you murmured. You rubbed your cheek to try and dissipate the blush beneath the surface of your skin, and looked up at Bucky. “Are you ready to go?”

“Ready whenever you are, doll,” Bucky answered. He nodded towards Sam. “Don’t forget the thing,” he told him. 

“The thing,” Sam repeated. Realization dawned on him, and he nodded. “Oh, right. Yeah, okay, I’ll get it done. Go have fun.” 

As Bucky walked you out and to your car, you looked up at him. “What’s the thing?” you asked. 

“Oh, just something he has to do for work, nothing big. Sam just has the propensity to forget things when he has days off,” Bucky explained. 

“You two are close,” you stated as you unlocked your car. 

“Definitely.” Bucky slid into the passenger seat and sighed. “He, Steve, and I were inseparable all those years ago.” 

“Do you miss it?” you asked softly. 

Bucky laughed. “The army? Absolutely not. I was miserable,” he admitted. “I only joined cause Steve did.”

“Oof,” you murmured as you started the car. “You’re a good friend.” 

“I dunno about that,” he sighed. He clicked his seatbelt into place and smiled at you. “Stupid, maybe.”

You laughed. “You said it, not me,” you said. You pulled out of the parking lot and left the complex, heading towards the farmer’s market. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, you spoke again. “So, I’m a little confused.”

“What’s up?”

“Do you like, pay rent at Sam’s apartment? Or what?” you asked, glancing at him from your peripheral. 

He nodded. “Yeah, I actually live there most of the time,” explained Bucky. “I own the cabin, though.”

You choked. “What?” you asked in a strangled voice. “You own it?”

“Yep,” he said simply. “Saved up my retirement checks while we were in New York. Bought the property when we moved out here.” 

“That’s—” You exhaled. “That’s wild.”

Bucky snickered. “Yeah, I guess it kind of is,” he admitted. “It’s necessary, though.”

“Yeah,” you agreed. “Good on you, Bucky.” 

“Thanks, I guess,” he sighed. He reached for the radio and turned it on. The cd you had in the player began to play, ABBA pouring loudly from your speakers. 

You winced and turned down the volume, your cheeks heating up at Bucky’s laughter. “Don’t laugh,” you said weakly.

“I guess I didn’t picture you as a disco person,” he said, obviously amused.

“I don’t need to justify my music taste to you,” you sniffed. “Besides, it’s not my fault that every song of theirs is a banger.” 

“You got me there.” Bucky leaned forward and turned the volume up another couple of notches, singing along to Dancing Queen. 

You couldn’t help but grin. Maybe he wasn’t making fun of you, maybe he was just pleasantly surprised. You sang along with him, and before you knew it, you were both grooving along to ABBA’s greatest hits. 

Sooner than you realized, you were pulling into the parking lot next to the farmer’s market, the rows of vendor’s tents visible beyond the other cars. Bucky leaned over to look out of the driver’s side window, his hair brushing against your arm briefly. “Is this the place?” he asked. 

“It sure is,” you said, nudging him away so you could unbuckle your seatbelt. You got out and locked the car after Bucky exited. He whipped sunglasses out of his jacket pocket and slid them on, grinning at you over the top of the car. “You’re cute,” you called to him. 

Bucky joined you on the driver’s side of the car. “You think so?” he asked. 

“I do,” you confirmed. 

He offered you a gloved hand. “Wanna hold hands?”

You snickered and took his hand, letting it hang comfortably by your side. “This is a big step, y’know.”

“I don’t doubt it,” he said brightly. “I know public displays of affection are not your forte.”

“Most definitely not,” you agreed with a sigh. You tugged lightly on his hand, starting towards the tents. “It’s just easier this way. I don’t want to lose you.” You heart thudded at your own wording and you grimaced. “Don’t want you to get lost,” you corrected. 

“Aw, doll, you’re so sweet,” he cooed teasingly. 

You knew he was joking; that didn’t stop a jolt of something hot and electric from running through you, making you flush. Your mind went back to the dream you had of him, flustering you even more. Time to deflect. “Doll?” you croaked out before clearing your throat. “What is this, the 40’s?”

“You don’t like it?” he asked. In his tone, you could hear a glimpse of insecurity. 

You swallowed hard. “I didn’t say that,” you murmured, not able to look at him. Not that it really mattered; you were on the precipice of the market, and there was so much to look at besides Bucky. 

That got a soft chuckle from Bucky, one that raced through you the same as the pet name had, warming you from the inside out. He tugged you closer by your hand so your shoulder bumped against his arm. “You don’t need to be shy around me, (Y/N),” said Bucky. 

“I know I don’t  _ need _ to be,” you sighed. “But I still am.”

“That’s alright,” he replied amicably. With his free hand, Bucky pointed towards a fruit stand. “Want a snack?”

“I won’t say no,” you said, thankful for the change of subject. 

Bucky led you over to the fruit stand and began to consider the plums while you eyed the bananas. You plucked a bunch from the pile and let go of Bucky’s hand so you could pay. Lightning quick, he grabbed your hand again and tugged you back, getting in front of you. “I got it,” he said. Bucky took the bananas from your hand and offered them to the vendor along with the plums he picked. 

“Bucky—” you tried, but he looked at you over the rim of his sunglasses, and you shut your mouth, waiting by his side as he paid for the fruit. 

As you walked back to the main straight-away, bag of fruit in hand, you huffed. “I could’ve gotten that,” you told him. 

“You invited me on this date,” Bucky explained, “And you drove here. Buying you fruit is the least I can do.”

You stared at him for a moment, narrowing your eyes at him. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Trying to figure out your intentions,” you told him, only mildly joking.

He shrugged lightly. “You told me I was cute,” he said. 

“So you bought me fruit?” You shook your head lightly, looking ahead of you.

“That’s the logical progression of things,” Bucky told you with a grin. 

“I don’t know about all that,” you said, unable to keep from smiling. “But, thank you.” 

“Hand me a plum, will you?” Bucky asked with his hand outstretched. You let go of his hand to rifle in the bag and pulled out a plum. When you placed it in his palm, he pulled a pocket knife from his back pocket, wiping the blade on his pants leg before slicing a section out of the plum and sticking it in his mouth. You watched all of this with your mouth slightly agape. “What?” he mumbled after swallowing the fruit. 

“Do you always keep a knife on you?” you asked.

“It’s useful, as you can see.” He carved out another piece of plum and offered it to you. 

You eyed the slice dubiously, looking from the fruit to him and back again. “Is that sanitary?” you asked, half joking. 

He shrugged. “More or less,” Bucky said with a smile. “Don’t want it?”

You plucked it from his hand as he began to pull it away. “No, I do.” You nibbled the plum slice. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” 

You settled into an easy sort of rhythm after that; he would cut a slice for himself, eat it, and then offer you one. The stream of people at the Farmer’s market parted around the both of you, forming a little bubble that you filled with conversation and laughter. After a while, you reached the end of the strip of tents, an empty stretch of parking lot lying beyond the cluster of food trucks that signified the boundaries of the market. 

“Well, it looks like we did it,” you sighed softly. 

“We certainly did,” he agreed. Bucky looked at his watch. “And it’s only… Jeez, it’s nearly 10 o’clock.”

You nodded. “Any booths you want to hit up again?” you asked. 

“None that I can think of.”

You looked up at him, considering him for a moment. The rising sun behind you glinted against the rim of his sunglasses as he looked down at you, considering you in return. 

“What now?” he asked. 

“Well,” you said. “We could either do one of two things; I could drive you back home—”   


“Or?”

“Or we could go to my place and continue to hang out, I guess,” you finished with a laugh. 

“I know which one I’d prefer,” Bucky said. 

Your grin morphed into a shy smile. “My place?” you guessed. 

“Got it in one, doll,” he agreed. Bucky’s hand slipped back into yours. “That okay?”

“Fine with me,” you confirmed. “Let’s go.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i see some kisses on the horizon 👀
> 
> thank you all for your patience regarding this chapter! holidays are a hectic time. i hope you enjoy this one! thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised you kisses. Here they are.

Bucky was right behind you as you unlocked your apartment, his hand lightly resting on the small of your back. He was saying something, but you were too distracted by the touching to really hear him, so you nodded along and pushed the front door open.

“And so I said, ‘That’s not a badger, that’s my father!’” 

You blinked at him as he looked at you with raised eyebrows and a wide smile, almost begging for you to laugh. “Wha—?” you breathed with a short, surprised laugh. 

“You weren’t paying attention, were you?” he asked. 

“Apparently not even a little,” you said, shaking your head. “Because I am so lost.” 

Bucky grinned. “Yeah, that actually didn’t have anything to do with the story I was telling,” he said cheekily. “Ow.”

You had smacked his chest. “That’s not nice,” you told him. “I was distracted. And before that, I was driving, so I had to focus on the road.” 

“Uh-huh,” he agreed lazily, moving around you to flop onto your couch. Bucky angled himself so he was tucked in the corner, framed by the back cushions and the arm rest, his leg outstretched over the cushions. He tipped his head back and sighed softly, his eyes falling shut as he relished in the comfort of your couch. It gave you a moment to admire him after you set your purse down on the kitchen counter. You leaned against the doorway from the kitchen to the living room, your arms crossed over your chest. You smiled when he cracked open an eye. “What?” he asked, lifting his head. 

“Nothing,” you said. “I just like you.” 

“Two affectionate confessions in one day?” asked Bucky, a roguish smile on his face. “You’re going to spoil me.”

“Yeah, well, I can be sweet when I want to be,” you told him, joining him on the couch. He moved his leg so you would have enough room, and you swung a pillow at him. He caught it against his stomach and grinned at you. 

“So much for sweetness,” he remarked. 

“You know, I was considering kissing you again, but now—”

“Wait wait wait, no,” Bucky interrupted quickly, moving to your side. “You were?”

You smiled wryly. “Not anymore,” you said, turning your head away from him and crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Aw, doll, wait.” His fingertips gingerly gripped your chin and turned your head so you would look at him. Bucky looked at you with pleading eyes. “Can I kiss you?” he asked in a heart-wrenchingly soft tone. “Please?”

You, of course, melted pretty easily and sighed. “You did say please,” you murmured, catching your bottom lip between your teeth as you considered the question. “Okay.” 

Bucky smiled and leaned in, pressing his lips softly to yours. You smiled against his mouth and scooted closer to him. He helped you closer by wrapping his arms around your waist. You slid your left hand up the plane of his chest and siddled close enough that you could sling your legs across his lap, and so you did. Bucky took one of his hands from your waist and rested it on your thigh. He deepened the kiss slightly, sliding his tongue along the seam of your lips and coaxing them apart. You exhaled slowly through your nose, allowing his tongue to slide into your mouth. Bucky let out a little pleased noise and squeezed your thigh. The sensation made you shiver. 

His hand slid slowly up your thigh. Your stomach flipped and you clutched Bucky’s shirt, parting from him for a moment to exhale shakily. Bucky smiled, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Thank you,” he murmured. “No need to thank me,” you said with a soft laugh. “Though, if you want to really thank me, you could kiss me again.”

Bucky grinned, kissing you eagerly. You moved your hand to cup his face, running your thumb along the scruffy facial hair on his jaw. He smiled against your lips, making you smile as well, and soon you were both just grinning like idiots. “You’re sweet,” he mused. 

You blinked at him, your smile turning quizzical. “Like… literally?”

He seemed to mull over the question. “Let me have another taste,” he prompted. Bucky leaned in for another kiss, more heated than the last. His tongue slid into your mouth and his hand gripped your thigh tighter, his fingers curling into the soft flesh. Heat gathered in your belly, making your breath hitch. Bucky explored your mouth, his tongue dragging across the edge of your incisors. When he finally pulled back and you opened your eyes, you had to blink a few times to get your pupils to adjust back to normal. “I would say yes, literally,” said Bucky. 

“You—“ You cut yourself off with a laugh and shook your head. Torn between punching him and kissing him again, you decided on the latter. You surged forward and captured his lips, your momentum pushing him against the back of the couch. You set your hands on his shoulders and shifted so you were properly seated in his lap, straddling his hips. Bucky let out a noise of surprise, but it was muffled against your mouth. You pulled back and rested your forehead against his. “I’m gonna beat you up,” you murmured. 

“Right now?” he breathed. “But we’re having so much fun.” His voice sounded like it had dropped an octave, and it made a shiver run through you, only adding to the heat in your stomach. Bucky put both of his hands on your thighs and slowly inched them up towards your hips. In anticipation, you canted your hips forward and gasped as you could feel the bulge in his pants.

Panic welled up in your chest and your grip on his shoulders tightened quite a bit. “Bucky, I— I haven’t—“ You swallowed hard, unable to finish the sentence.

Bucky, sensing the emotional shift, sat up and moved his hands to your back. “Hey, hey, whoa, it’s okay, doll,” he soothed. “Nothing’s gotta happen.”

“It’s not that— I think you’re very attractive,” you blurted out. 

Bucky grinned. “Thanks, (Y/N). The feeling is mutual,” he mused. 

The way he was so at ease helped you relax a little, and you released his shoulders. You let your hands drop to his chest, and you plucked at the fabric of his shirt, focusing on that instead of his face. “So, um, it’s not that I don’t want to… do stuff,” you managed with a slight laugh. “I just— Haven’t. Since I was bitten.” 

“We can go at whatever pace you need to,” Bucky assured you. “Even if that’s no pace at all.”

You stared at him, trying once again to gauge his intentions. “Really?”

“Really,” he confirmed. “I’m just happy being with you.” He cleared his throat. “Of course, I want to—“ Now it was his turn to be flustered, and his cheeks tinted pink. “Do stuff,” he repeated lamely. “But I’d wait forever if you needed me to.” 

“Bucky,” you said softly, marveling at his kindness. 

“I’d do anything for you, (Y/N),” he told you. 

Affection, and maybe something else, something more intense, welled up in your chest, and you kissed him again, cupping his face with both hands. As you kissed him, you considered how much you enjoyed spending time with him. With those thoughts came thoughts of the pack. Would it be so bad to make a commitment? To say yes and join? At this point, it wasn’t as if you were rushing into it. 

You pulled back, but your hands remained on his cheeks. Bucky looked up at you adoringly, and you knew there really wasn’t an argument anymore. The choice had been made long before you realized it. You took a deep breath. “Bucky—“

“Yeah, doll?”

“I’ll do it,” you said. “I’ll join.”

Bucky’s eyes widened and he tightened his arms around your waist. “Wha—? The pack? You’ll join the pack?” he clarified. At your nod, he crowed out a cheer and stood, taking you with him. He spun you around before he let you stand on your own. “This is— I—“

“Slow down,” you said with a soft laugh. 

“I’m sorry, this is just—“ Bucky seemed at a loss for words. He stared at you for a moment, and then he was kissing you again, pulling you tight against him. Then, he was kissing your cheeks and forehead and hugging you so hard he knocked the breath right out of you. “You won’t regret this,” he told you as soon as you could pry your face out of his chest. “I promise. We’ll all take really good care of you. I’ll take care of you—“

“Bucky—“

“I’m sorry,” he said again, laughing. “I’m just so happy.” Bucky looked at you with bright eyes, his smile beautiful and brilliant. “I can add you to the group chat now,” he said in an awed whisper. 

You laughed aloud, covering your mouth with your hand to muffle your laughter into giggles. “Yes,” you agreed. “You can add me to the group chat now.”

Bucky quickly pulled out his phone and plopped back onto the couch, typing quickly. Within seconds, your phone began to buzz. You looked down to see multiple texts congratulating you on making the decision to join the pack. Some were signed, and some weren’t, so you made Bucky help you put a name to each number. Then, after your contacts were updated, you set your phone to do not disturb. Bucky looked up from his phone, a goofy smile still on his face, as you scooted closer to him. You retook your place on his lap, and Bucky’s smile turned sly. “Can’t resist me, hm?” he joked.

“What can I say? Your thighs are comfy,” you explained with a smile. You leaned in and kissed him softly before pulling away again. “Thank you.”

“For what, doll?”

“Being nice,” you said. “I think maybe you’re just what I needed.” 

He visibly softened and his eyes got a little misty. Bucky carefully pulled you into a kiss. His hands skated up and down your back, and he let out a soft, little sigh. “I really would do anything for you, do you know that?” he asked, his breath ghosting over your lips. 

“I know,” you breathed in return. Gently, you glided your lips across his before settling into a full kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck. Your chest pressed to his and you could feel his deep inhale. His arms tightened around you and he parted from the kiss, choosing instead to bury his face in your neck as he hugged you close. “Oh, Bucky,” you cooed. You threaded your hand in his hair, gently scritching the base of his skull. A shiver ran through you as he turned his head and pressed a kiss to your neck. He pressed another just under your jaw as you leaned your head back. “Oh,” you breathed, holding onto him a little tighter. “Bucky—”

“I don’t want to leave,” he murmured against your skin. 

“Then don’t,” you said with a soft laugh. 

Bucky pulled back to look up at you. “Really?” he asked. “Would you let me stay here?”

You studied his face, tilting your head slightly to the side. “Do you want to?”

“I always want to be with you,” he said simply. 

“You aren’t prepared for a sleep-over,” you said dubiously. 

He hummed. “I could ask Sam to bring me some stuff,” he suggested. “If-If you’re serious.” 

You ran your hand through his hair, tucking a strand behind his ear. “Okay,” you said. “Yeah. You can stay if you want to.” 

Bucky brightened. “Really?”

“Really.” You leaned forward and kissed his cheek. Then, you slid off of his lap, much to Bucky’s dismay, and went to go make sure your bedroom was suitable for another person. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things may get a little spicy in the next chapter 👀 I haven't written it yet, so I don't know for sure, but here's hoping lmao
> 
> Thanks for keeping up! Let me know if you have any comments, questions, or concerns 💖 Love you!

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, or concerns!


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